
Kornheiser:
Alright, welcome back to PTI. The first games of the Fantasy RBI Baseball playoffs are done, and the visiting team has won both games. To start off the playoffs, The Nimords fell behind early, and tried to rally to beat BeefMaster but couldn’t do it, falling short by a run. BeefMaster also beat The Nimrods to end the regular season. The question is, does BeefMaster have The Nimrods’ number?

Wilbon:
That’s sheer and utter lunacy, Tony! C’mon!

Kornheisher:
What? That’s two games in a row now, where the BeefMaster relievers have been able to stop The Nimrods from pulling off their usual last-inning heroics. Maybe that relief pitching staff is something that The Nimrods can’t figure out.

Wilbon:
Do you hear yourself when you talk, or does it just sound like “Yadda yadda yadda”? Look, you have to throw that last regular season game out the window – The Nimrods had already clinched home field, and they were on cruise control, while BeefMaster needed to win to get into the playoffs. This isn’t the 1927 Yankess here – BeefMaster was a .500 team in the regular season. It’s one game.

Kornheisher:
But in a Best of Five series, you can’t go around throwing games away like that!
<Buzzer sounds>

Wilbon:
Home field means nothing in RBI Baseball, trust me. Nimrods in four. In that game, Nimrods manager Gene Mauch didn’t pinch hit for reliever Charlie Kerfeld in the bottom of the eighth inning. Kerfeld reached on an error when there was a BOP on the third baseman, but was thrown out trying to stretch it into a double. Mauch then pulled Kerfeld and replaced him with Jesse Orosco to start the ninth. Now, why in the HELL would Gene Mauch leave Kerfeld in there to bat if he was going to pull him anyway? You have to bring in a pinch hitter there.

Kornheiser:
Listen, I agree that was a dumb move. But Kerfeld got on base, let’s not forget that. If you want a goat, look at the first base coach, hjose oquendo. He’s the one who told Kerfeld “No”, which Kerfeld heard as “Go”. Remember, Kerfeld never gets on base, so hjose oquendo has to get out stop signs, construction cones, even tackle Kerfeld to get him to stop if he has to.

Wilbon:
But if they had lifted Kerfeld for a pinch hitter, you’d have someone who knew how to run the bases, and either would have stopped at first, or might have made it to second. Even more likely is they would have got a solid hit, and this whole thing wouldn’t have happened. Don’t blame hjose oquendo, blame the manager…
<buzzer sounds>

Kornheiser:
Well, I say blame Kerfeld too. What, is he too stupid to know not to run? Anyway, in the other opener, Doc Gooden put on a dominating performance to shut down The Stiffs and help The OC take home-field advantage in that series. Gooden has been dominant for The OC and is the frontrunner for the Cy Young Award. What I want to know is, does this playoff format place too much of an emphasis on one starting pitcher?

Wilbon:
No. How about that for an answer! Look, if you want to beat The OC, your starting pitcher has to have a good outing – you know that going in. And in Game 1, Ojeda didn’t have a good outing. I mean, The OC lost seven times this season, so it’s not impossible to get to them. Plus, it’s not like Doyle Alexander’s a slouch in long relief.

Kornheiser:
I’m not saying it’s impossible, if you would listen. I’m just saying that one pitcher being dominant can change the whole complexion of a playoff series. Why bother with a bullpen if your starter can go out every game and shut people down. Why not have alternating starters and have your middle reliever in Game 1 be your starter in Game 2, etc.?

Wilbon:
Because that’s stupid, Tony, and that’s not how Fantasy RBI Baseball is played…

Kornheiser:
Wait, wait, so I guess you have a book on the illustrious history of Fantasy RBI Baseball? What, this is going to ruin the integrity of Fantasy RBI Baseball?

Wilbon:
Yes it will, Tony. Maybe you don’t know about integrity, but…

Kornheiser:
What integrity of Fantasy RBI Baseball?!?
<buzzer sounds>
Any league with a bitter drunk as the commissioner shouldn’t talk about integrity.

OK, that’s all for now. Back later.