Darkside's Fantasy WatchWEEK 2
The OC, 2 time defending champion, exploded for 8 runs with two outs in the bottom of the second inning. Bobby Grich singled and hit a three run homer to highlight the two out, 10 hit, 8 run second inning.
The Nimrods never recovered and were ten runned in six innings.
Juggernaut OC, put The Nimrods away using a 4 run 5th inning to put the game out of reach. Dwight Gooden was the spark by leading off the bottom of the 5th with a double. From there, the top of the lineup used business like work in finishing up the job. Pat Sheridan hit Gooden in with a triple, Reggie hit a double followed by another by Bruno. Ricky Burleson capped off the inning with a RBI single to take a commanding 15-6 lead.
After a Dwight Gooden ground out in the bottom of the 6th, Pat Sheridan showed his killer instinct by hitting a one out triple which paved the way for Reggie Jackson to hit Sheridan in on a grounder to end the contest.
The OC is in championship form and have asserted themselves as the team to beat. They are now 2-0, with both games being cut off short due to the 10 run mercy rule. They have outscored their opponents 32-10 so far. Doc Gooden is off to his best start ever pitching and hitting, If he continues to keep his opponents under the teens, The OC can be looking at a three- peat.
Assistant GM BDawk was his usual arrogant self with his shooting straight from the hip comments like "Hey, can anyone here provide a little competition, please?
My god, your fucking teams suck...except for attarack...that team sucks and is gay...and armless...and gay" .
The Nimrod's owner, Ultimate 7, was still in disbelief after the game saying "I was fairly sure all 8 2nd inning runs were unearned".
THE OC 2-0
The Nimrods 1-1
Darkside's Fantasy WatchWEEK 2
Showing strong resiliency, The Mexican Hermaphrodite Whores turned a tightly contested battle into a convincing 22- 15 win.
Dale Murphy stole the show by putting on a spectacular hitting display with two home runs, one grand slam, three doubles, and 7 RBI. Don Mattingly hit a pair of shots, and Eric King and Calvin Shiraldi kept the game out of reach with great pitching performances in shutting out The Coprophilliacs in the 8th and 9th innings.
The Coprophiliacs took a 15-14 lead going into the bottom of the seventh inning with some momentum. That momentum quickly changed over to the Hermaphrodites' side as Wally Joyner and Don Mattingly hit back to back singles and setting up the stage for Dale Murphy's heroic 3 run blast over the scoreboard which put the Hermaphrodites up for good, 17-15.
From there, the Hermaphrodites' bullpen shut down The Coprophiliacs top of the hitting order in surrendering zero runs in the final two innings.
The Hermaphrodites essentially put the game away with Dale Murphy's two out grand slam home run in the bottom of the 8th inning in giving them a 22-15 lead going into the top of the 9th.
In the top of the 9th, Calvin Shiraldi gave up hits to Dave Henderson(2B) and Bob Boone. However, Shiraldi got Andres Gallarraga out on a fielders choice to end the game.
Don Mattingly and Dale Murphy combined for 4 home runs, 10 hits,11 RBI, and 9 runs.
Strong hitting performances by Darrell Evans, Keith Hernandez, and Bob Boone kept The Coprophiliacs close, but they failed to get anything going in the final two innings to mount any kind of comeback.
Hermaphrodite's owner, Ryno, felt vindicated in giving RBI Jedi-Dale Murphy a huge signing bonus in saying "Dale seemed alot like a whore when he gouged me for that signing bonus".
No comments were available from the Coprophiliacs as they quickly left Tengen Stadium.
The Coprophiliacs 1-1
The Mexican Hermaphrodites Whores 1-1
Less talk, more POOPYDICKS!
Darkside's rankings will be released soon.
Darkside's player of the week will be posted shortly.
Other stats, feature stories and freelancing will come soon.
RBI Fantasy Top Ten Rankings
1. Poopydicks 2-0
2. The OC 2-0
3. The Mexican Hermaphrodites 1-1
4. The CommieHitlers 1-1
5. Crapohilacs 1-1
6. The Hip Young Hopes 1-1
7. Nimrods 1-1
8. Attarack 1-1
9. GDavis 0-2
10. Frank Tanana All Stars 0-2
1. The Poopydicks have outscored their opponents 29-1 in 5 total innings! They are hitting a league leading .673 and sporting a nice league leading 1.204 slugging average. They are averaging 5.8 runs and 6.6 hits per inning vs. allowing 0.2 runs per inning and 1 hit per inning, all first in the Fantasy League. The Poopydicks are the Mike Tyson of the fantasy league.
2. The OC, two time defending champions, are looking to three-peat. They are second in batting (564) second in slugging(1.166) runs per inning(2.46) second in hits per inning (3.38) and second in runs given up per inning (.769). They have outscored their opponents 32-10 so far in defense of their championship.
3 and 4 have similar stats, but the edge goes to the Hermaphrodites cause of their 2.1 runs per inning and 1.7 runs against per inning, slightly better than the CommieHitlers.
The Mexican Hermaphrodites lead the league in total home runs (10), but have played 18 innings and have had more total at bats than the PD and OC.
5-7 should hang around 500.
Number 5 ranked Cropohiliacs lead the league in the LOB category. They have stranded 23 runners which is 12 more than next teams(OC, CommieHitlers, Nimrods.) They also lead the league in total hits(58).
Number 8 ranked Attarack is dead last in runs scored per inning(1) and is giving up 2.09 runs per inning(8th worst)
Number nine ranked GDavis has been outscored 30-15 and is number one in the runs against per inning(3).
The last ranked team, Frank Tanana All Stars, is last in the following categories, batting average(.321), last in runs against per inning (2.416), hits per inning (1.5), 8th in runs per inning, and have been outscored 29-8.
Hitting Leaders through week 2
Batting
1. Eric Davis .888
1. John Kruk .888
2. George Bell .857
3. Harry Spillman .833
3. Candy Maldanado .833
3. Jeoffery Leonard .833
4. Darryl Strawberry .800
4. Terry Pendleton .800
4. Alan Trammel .800
5. Keith Hernandez .750
5. Rick Burleson .750
Hits
1.Keith Hernandez 9
1. Darrel Evans 9
2. Eric Davis 8
2. John Kruk 8
2. Terry Pendleton 8
2. Don Mattingly 8
2. Bob Boone 8
3. Davey Lopes 7
3. Dale Murphy 7
3. Dave Henderson 7
3. Jim Rice 7
RBI
1. Keith Hernandez 9
1. Dale Murphy 9
2. Darrel Evans 6
2. Geroge Hendrick 6
2. Bobby Grich 6
2. Reggie Jackson 6
2. Julio Franco 6
2. Doug DeCinces 6
3. Nine tied at 5
Runs
1. Darrel Evans 7
1. Davey Lopes 7
2. Dale Murphy 6
2. Pat Sheridan 6
3. Don Mattingly 5
3. Tom Brunansky 5
3. George Bell 5
3. Terry Pendleton 5
4. Vince Coleman 5
HR
1. George Hendrick 4
2. Dale Murphy 3
2. Keith Hernandez 3
3. Ten Players Tied At 2
3B
1. Pat Sheridan 3
2. Bob Boone 2
2. Davey Lopes 2
2. John Kruk 2
2B
1. Davey Lopes 5
1. Darrel Evans 5
2. Dale Murphy 4
2. Terry Pendleton 4
3. Ryne Sandberg 3
3. Harry Spillman 3
3. Jim Rice 3
3. Chili Davis 3
3. Dave Henderson 3
Slugging
1. Darryl Strawberry 2.100
2. Harry Spillman 1.833
3. Tony Armas 1.714
4. Dale Murphy 1.666
4. John Kruk 1.666
5. Davey Lopes 1.600
5. Pat Sheridan 1.600
6. Bob Boone 1.583
6. Keith Hernandez 1.583
7. Bobby Grich 1.571
8 Rick Burleson 1.500
9. Tom Brunansky 1.444
10. Candy Maldanado 1.333
Darkside Presents Players Of The Week
Week 1George Hendrick's performance was unanimously chosen as the best by a panel of RBI Jedi's within the Empire.
George Hendrick had a monster evening against the Nimrods. His big stick produced a 4-5 performance at the plate, launched 4 home runs, scored 4 runs, and sent everybody home with a 2 run walk off homer to cap an amazing performance.
Honorable MentionJulio Franco belted two home runs and drove in six runs while going 3-6 .
Doc Gooden pitched 7 solid innings and allowed only 4 runs in his win against The Hip Young Popes.
Week 2Dale Murphy's spectacular 7 RBI performance was all that the RBI Jedi panel needed to see.
To go along with those 7 RBI, Dale Murphy went 5-6, blasted a pair of towering shots that equaled 850 feet, hit a 421 foot grand slam over the everything into the Tengen sunset, collected 3 doubles, and scored 4 runs.
Honorable MentionDon Mattingly lumbered up 2 home runs, drove in 4 runs, scored 5 runs, and went 5-6.
A shutout is a shutout. Journey man Doyle Alexander threw 3 scoreless innings and gave up three hits in getting a three inning shutout.
He also helped out his own cause in going 1-3 with a RBI double and a run scored.
Team Rankings Through Week 7
1. GDavis: Overall (5-2) Gantry Dvision (3-1) RSPI 2.04, RAPI 1.96, HR 34
2. Empire: Overall (5-2) Gantry Division (2-2) RSPI 2.23, RAPI 1.67, HR 43
3. Poopydicks: Overall (5-2) DoveRBI Division (4-1) RSPI 3.00, RAPI 1.86, HR 41
4. Coprophiliacs: Overall (3-4) Gantry Division (2-2) RSPI 1.60, RAPI 1.85, HR 22
5. CommieHitlers: Overall (3-4) DoveRBI Division (2-1), RSPI 1.59, RAPI 1.76 HR 25
6. Nimrods: Overall (3-4) Gantry Division (1-3), RSPI 1.5, RAPI 1.81, HR 31
7. Hip Young Popes: Overall (3-4), DoveRBI Division (1-1), RSPI 1.72, RAPI 2.06, HR 18
8. FTAS:Overall (3-4), DoveRBI Division (1-3), RSPI 1.64, RAPI 2.03, HR 24
9. OC: Overall (2-5) Gantry Division (1-3), RSPI 1.53 RAPI 1.43. HR 31
10. AttaRack: Overall (2-5) DoveRBI Division (1-3), RSPI 1.81, RAPI 2.00, HR 25
* Runs Scored Per Inning (RSPI), Runs Allowed Per Inning (RAPI)
1. GDavis (5-2), (3-1)
GDavis tops our poll as the number one ranked team in the Fantasy league. They are in first place in the Gantry Division, have a five game winning streak and possess the deadliest awe inspiring power 1-2 hole in the league, George Bell (.618, 8 HR) and Tony Armas (.609, 7 HR). They are without doubt the sparkplugs in this lineup. Mike Heath, the league's top 8 hole, is hitting .690 with five homeruns. This offense is built around brute power. The only weakness appears to be team speed. Team pitching (17.21 ERA, 8th) can be a problem as the season goes on unless the offense continues to be very productive.
2. The Empire (5-2), (2-2)
The Empire is leading the league in HR (43), and is second in team ERA (14.57). Don Mattingly (.600, 11 HR, 24 RBI) is leading the league in HR, Runs 20, and RBI (tied with two others). Dale Murphy (.537, 10 HR, 24 RBI) is second in homeruns and first (tied with two others) in RBI. Hall Of Famer Reggie Jackson went 4-6 with two doubles in his debut with the Empire. Wade Boggs, (.575, 5 HR, 17 RBI) has opened up a lot of eyes around the league. He has already surpassed his total HR total from the previous 3 seasons.
3. The Poopydicks (5-2) (4-1)
The Poopydicks historical record setting start has carried this streaky team to first place in the DoveRBI Division. They are first in Average, Slugging, and Runs Per Inning.
Andre Dawson (.714, 10 HR, 24 RBI) is leading the league in hitting, is tied for second with 10 homeruns, and shares the lead in RBI. The Hawk is protected by an impressive Ruppert Jones(.679, 7 HR, 17 RBI). The 7-8 hole has opposing pitchers worried of Brookens and Speir who have 5 HR a piece. After Fantasy League leading starting pitcher Doyle Alexander(10.25 era), it is pretty much a free-for-all for opposing hitters. Rick Reuschel (29.34 era, 39th overall) and WHernandez (53.89 era, last 40th overall).
4. The Coprophiliacs (3-4) (2-2)
Keith Hernandez (.676 avg, 7 HR, 18 RBI) has been the most consistent this year. Vince Coleman is having a tough year and generally the rest of the line up that features Darrel Evans and Jim Rice has been underachieving. The pitching staff ranks 5th in the runs against per inning department. The Coprophiliacs have been competitive in all of their games with the excepton of a mercy rule loss to the Poopydicks. If the Coprophiliacs can awaken offensively, this team has a shot for the playoffs in the Gantry Division.
5. The CommieHitlers (3-4) (2-1)
Jose Canseco (.438ave, 8 HR, 21 RBI) is carrying the load offensively while number 3 hitter Dwight Evans(.484, 6 HR, 10 RBI) has struggled with men in scoring position so far.
John Kruk (.714, 1 HR, 6 RBI) is quietly leading the league in hitting along with Andre Dawson. Led by Mike Witt, the strength is team pitching for the CommieHitlers as they are 3rd in the league at RAPI and 4th in team ERA. The CommieHitlers are in second place in the DoveRBI Division with a lot of baseball left to play.
6. The Nimrods (3-4), (1-3)
With a three game winning streak, The Nimrods are one of the hottest teams in the Fantasy League. As usual, Eric Davis (.629 ave, 7 HR, 15 RBI) is having another productive year. Davey Lopes (.526 ave, 3 HR, 10 rbi,) leads the league in doubles and is second in triple from the leadoff spot. The Nimrods do have a solid pitching staff and are 3rd in the Fantasy League in team ERA (14.61). If they are to continue on their hot streak, their offense must improve their last place showing of a very unattractive 1.5 Runs Per Inning.
7. The Hip Young Popes (3-4), 1-1)
Jeffey Leonard (.633, 2, 11) is tied for the league in doubles (11). Darrel Strawberry (.517, 5, 11) is leading the team in HR.. The Hip Young Popes weakness appears to be in pitching. They are dead last in RAPI (2.06) and 9th in ERA at 17.42. The lack of homeruns has placed them last in HR at 18 which has been a problem for them all year. Don Baylor has 2 HR this season and has let the team down with his lack of leadership.
8. The Frank Tanana All Stars (3-4) (1-3)
Mike Shcmidt (.433, 2, 6) has been one of the hugest disappointments for the FTAS He has not done well in the 3 hole this year. Mark McGuire (.531, 4, 15) has appeared to get back on track after his dismal start. The FTAS is 9th in RAPI and 7th in ERA (17.07). Brett Saberhagen was traded away for Danny Cox in hopes of upgrading that slot. Despite this, the FTAS are still in position to make a run for the playoffs in the DoveRBI Divison.
9. The OC ( 2-5) (1-3)
The two time defending champions have lost 5 in a row since beginning the season at 2-0. They now find themselves in last place in the Gantry Division. Anemic team hitting (9th in RSPI ) has plagued them all year. The consequence of this was the trading of Dee Nee HOF Reggie Jackson. Also traded were Will Clark, and reserve Denny Walling.
Pedro Guerrero (.473, 7, 16) is having a solid year and Matt Nokes (.514, 6, 14) has provided some pop. EDF's Pat Sheridan is supplying some power in the lead off spot with 4 HR.
Despite having ace Doc Gooden (10.75 ERA), and leading the league in team pitching( 1.43 RAPI), (12.30 ERA), the OC mysteriously traded Danny Cox for Brett Saberhagen.The hopes for a three-peat are fading fast as the sun sets on the last place Gantry Division The OC.
10. AttaRack(2-5)(1-3)
Team Co-owner Racktackular's sudden disappearance has AttaRack in a state of confusion.
Nolan Ryan's shoulder problems has resulted in a 24.00 ERA and ranks 36th among all pitchers. AttaRack team's pitching is the main cause for concern. They are last in team ERA 18.64, and 8th in RAPI 2.00. The immediate result of this has landed them in last place in the DoveRBI Division. The lone bright spots have been on the hitting side were they reside in the middle of the pack. Tim Laudner leads AttaRack with 17 RBI and Kirk Gibson is hitting .600 with 4 HR. Julio Franco leads the league in ERA and has not given up an earned run in 4 innings of work.
Here is a little breakdown of the RBI Fantasy Team's total contact, power, and speed ratings for starting lineups and their ranking of the ten teams for each respective category.
Contact/Starters Power/Starters Speed/Starters
The Empire 122 #1 5919 #10 1038 #5
GDavis 170 #8 6921 #5 978 #9
Poopydicks 203 #10 6900 #1 1022 #8
OC 152 #5 6708 #2 1034 #6
CommieHitlers 142 #3 6702 #9 1060 #1
Nimrods 166 #6 6753 #3 1046 #3
Hip Young Popes 177 #9 6783 #4 1026 #7
AttaRack 167 #7 6648 #10 1054 #2
FTAS 149 #4 6837 #6 1040 #4
Croprophiliacs 140 #2 5946 #8 880 #10
Team Rankings through Week 8
1. The Empire: (5-3), +31, RSPI 2.1, RAPI 1.64, HR 51
2. GDavis: (5-3), 0, RSPI 1.84, RAPI 1.84, HR 36
3. Poopydicks: (5-3), +31, RSPI 2.76, RAPI 2.04, HR 35
4. Nimrods: (4-4), +1, RSPI 1.66, RAPI 1.65, HR 38
5. Coprophiliacs: (4-4), -10, RSPI 1.54, RAPI 1.7, HR 26
6. CommieHitlers: (4-4), -4, RSPI 1.62, RAPI 1.68, HR 31
7. The OC: (3-5), +8, RSPI 1.52, RAPI 1.4, HR 35
8. AttaRack: (3-5), -3, RSPI 1.72, RAPI 1.78, HR 29
9. FTAS: (3-5), -26, RSPI 1.58, RAPI 2, HR 27
10. HYP: (3-5), -21, RSPI 1.52, RAPI 1.92, HR 33
* Runs Scored Per Inning (RSPI), Runs Allowed Per Inning (RAPI)
1. The Empire (5-3)
With the acquisition of Brian Downing (.515, 5 HR, 15 RBI), Chris Speir (.520, 5 HR,10 RBI) and Kirby Puckett (.353, 4 HR 12 RBI) The Empire has upgraded the overall balance of their number 2 ranked offense (RSPI) in the league. With 51 HR as a team, The Empire now has power at every spot in the lineup. Dale Murphy (26 RBI) and Don Mattingly (25 RBI) lead the league in HR (11) and are first and second in RBI respectively.
The Empire ranks number two in league pitching (1.64 RAPI) and have not lost a game by more than 2 runs this season. Next Opponent: Coprophiliacs
2. GDavis (5-3)
Last week's # 1 ranked Fantasy team slips a spot from last week's power rankings. Despite the poor offensive showing in last weeks loss to the Coprophilacs, GDavis is third in the league in offense which is led by George Bell (.641, 8 HR, 14 RBI) and Tony Armas (.625, 7 HR, 23 RBI).
GDavis team pitching (#7) can hurt them in the stretch run if the rest of the offense decides to let George Bell and Tony Armas do all the work.
Next Opponent: Poopydicks
3. The Poopydicks (5-3)
The Poopies have a three game losing streak yet find themselves in first place in the Dove RBI division. The Poopys have acquired via trade Reggie Jackson (.500, 6 HR), and Denny Walling (1 AB). The Poopys now feature two HOF RBI players in the 3-4 hole with Andre Dawson (.688, 10 HR, 25 RBI) and Reggie Jackson. The Poopys number one ranked offense in the league is also getting strong support from Ruppert Jones (.656, 9 HR, 19 RBI) and Tom Brookens ( .607, 6 HR, 14 RBI) .
The Poopydicks are going to need all the offense they can get in the stretch run because they are ranked dead last (#10) in team pitching.
Next Opponent: GDavis
4. Nimrods (4-4)
The Nimrods are the hottest team right now with a 4 game winning streak and are in second place in the Gantry Division. The have catapulted into second place with solid pitching (#3). Eric Davis (.625, 8 HR, 19 RBI) continues to produce impressive numbers and Davey Lopes (.558, 4 Triples, 20 Runs) has been a consistent sparkplug at the leadoff spot.
Next Opponent: The OC
5. Coprophiliacs (4-4)
The Coprops looked impressive in last week's important divisional victory over GDavis and share second place with the Nimrods. Keith Hernandez (.711, 8 HR, 20 RBI) is leading the league in hitting and Jim Rice (.590, 4 HR, 14 RBI) has been swinging the hot stick as of late. If the Coprop's can get more consistent production from Coleman (.375) and Bergman (.429, 1 HR) in the 1-2 hole, they can make a legitimate run for the playoffs.
Next Opponent: The Empire
6. CommieHitlers (4-4)
The Commies have quietly slipped in to second place and is one game behind the Poopydicks in the Dove RBI division. The Commies are 4th in pitching and with their 6th ranked offense, the Commies have seemed to gel together really well since their mercy rule defeat by 1st place Poopydicks. The Commies have been hot lately. So if they can continue to get production like they did in last week's victory against the FTAS, then the Commies can find themselves in the playoffs as division champions. The heart of the lineup, Ellis Burks (.553, 3HR), Jose Canseco (.421, 9 HR, 22 RBI), DwEvans (.541, 9 HR,), and Alan Trammel (.568, 5 HR) have begun to warm up as they combined for 6 HR last week. Next Opponent: AttaRack
7. The OC (3-5)
The two time defending champions showed that they still had fight and pride as they defeated 1st place The Empire. At 3-5, The OC are two games behind first place with 5 games left to play. To have any kind of possibility to reach the playoffs, they are going to need their pitching (#1) to continue to keep the games low scoring. The OC is #9 in offense and has been bothered by inconstant hitting in key situations. Pedro Guerrero (.535, 8 HR, 20 RBI) is coming off a 5-5 performance against the Empire and has been a good fit with the OC. Matt Nokes (.575, 7 HR, 18 RBI) has been the most consistent all season.
Next Opponent: Nimrods
8. AttaRack (3-5)
AttaRack has to win their next 4 of 5 games to even have a shot at the playoffs. Not an easy task when you look at the remainder of their schedule with Nolan Ryan ((24.00 ERA, 21 HR/ 24 innings) having a disastrous year. On the bright side, their 4th ranked offense has been getting steady production by Kirk Gibson ( .571, 4 HR,) and Tim Raines (.556, 4 HR, 4 3B). Next Opponent: CommieHitlers.
9. FTAS (3-5)
Kirby Pucket and his .353 average were sent to the Empire by trading for Jim Lindeman. The FTAS are looking for that magical spark to get them to the playoffs. The FTAS are mathematically alive, but the odds are against them. The # 7 offense continues to under achieve with Mike Schmidt(.400, 6 RBI) going 1-5 last week and surprisingly with only 2 HR. Mark McGwire (.595, 4 HR, 16 RBI) went 5-5 last game and raised his average 64 points.
Next Opponent: Hip Young Popes.
10. Hip Young Popes (3-5)
8th in pitching , 9th in offense, and dead last in HR with 20, The HYP find themselves in a very unpromising position to string together some wins in order to have any chance of post season talk. The HYP have been troubled by a lack of power and bad pitching. Roger Clemens and Bruce Hurst lead the league as 1-2 starters with the most HR given up (36). If this team dose not turn it around soon and show some enthusiasm, then they should be a lock at the last ranking for the rest of the year.
Next Opponent: Frank Tanana All Stars