Last Week:
Gantry Division:
The Coprophiliacs 14, The OC 3
Doverbi Division:
The Poopydicks 25, The Hip Yong Popes 15
Interdivision:
The CommieHitlers 15, The Nimrods 8
Attarack 10, The Empire 0
GDavis 14, The Frank Tanana All-Stars 12
Standings:
Gantry Division:
1. GDavis, 8-3 (+19)
2. The Empire, 7-4 (+24)
3. The Coprophiliacs, 5-6 (-2)
t4. The OC, 4-7 (-8)
t4. The Nimrods, 4-7 (-23)
Doverbi Division:
t1. The Poopydicks, 7-4 (+39)
t1. Attarack, 7-4 (+16)
3. The CommieHitlers, 6-5 (+8)
4. The Hip Young Popes, 4-7 (-43)
5. The Frank Tanana All-Stars, 3-8 (-30)
This Week:
Gantry Division:
The Empire @ GDavis
The Coprophiliacs @ The Nimrods
Doverbi Division:
The Frank Tanana All-Stars @ The Hip Young Popes
The CommieHitlers @ The Poopydicks
Interdivision:
Attarack @ The OC
This week's ROM and rosters attached.
The Gimpire is a bunch of shriveled up stankin' assed VAGINAS.
Play some ball, homos! Get off Darky's rabbit weed and do what you were born to do.
That a kid ryno. SCARE EM. They have been playing like bitches. If you lose to GDavis, check your office for a red tag.
Am I right -- the GDavis / Empire game is for the division?
Not really...just for first place. We still have a date with the Nimrods after this week. I'll adress our upcoming game soon on behalf of the Empire.
Well, if we don't win this one, we're fucked.
If we finish second, I don't know if we should accept the bid.
This shit is pathetic. This whole damned team is pathetic.
All those fuckers need to go back home and suck on their momma's tit.
I'm more interested in the Poopydicks winning this week then I am AttaRack, it's just too bad we threw away all those early games by allowing Rack to set the lineup and make 3/4 of the draft picks.
Quote from: Attezzobal on 07/11/07, 10:37:51 PM
I'm more interested in the Poopydicks winning this week then I am AttaRack
Why must you root against me? I need this game.
Good question.
I guess as long as you guys don't tie, I'll be assured a tie for second going into the final week.
Plus, I do like Communism, and I do have a picture of Hitler above my bed.
I can still make the playoffs if I win this week and at least six of the other teams die in plane crashes.
If the empire loses, I'm making Dale Murphy play in nothing but his queer looking mormon underpants.
Quote from: Attezzobal on 07/12/07, 04:13:56 AM
Plus, I do like Communism, and I do have a picture of Hitler above my bed.
For some reason I believe this statement wholeheartedly
It's actually a picture of Henry Ford.
Quote from: Attezzobal on 07/12/07, 11:03:14 PM
It's actually a picture of Henry Ford.
quite clever indeed.
The Empire @ GDavis game is attached. Box score to follow...tomorrow morning.
GDavis Clinches Gantry Division Crown With 15-12 Victory
DEE-NEE CITY - GDavis used a balanced hitting attack and a fine performance from their bullpen to defeat The Dark Side 15-12 to clinch the Gantry Division pennant in a game played Thursday night at Tengen Stadium.
All eight position players had at least one RBI for GDavis (9-3), while the team's bullpen combined to give up seven hits and three runs over the last five innings.
The Empire (7-5) lost despite two home runs each from Will Clark and Dale Murphy. After the game, assistant GM and team financial manager Ryno was pensive about the result.
"We didn't play great but we didn't play terribly - sometimes these things happen," Ryno said. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a few things to say to upper management."
With that statement, Ryno left the interview room to take a dump in The Dark Side's office.
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Wow. it's like my childhood. Sandberg homers, but the team gets their dicks handed to them.
Quote from: ryno on 07/21/07, 11:48:58 AM
Wow. it's like my childhood. Sandberg Murphy homers, but the team gets their dicks handed to them.
Quote from: ryno on 07/21/07, 11:48:58 AM
Wow. it's like my job. Sandberg homers, but the rest of the team shits on the floor
with that exchange of the last three posts i grant you all a :POW: for last week.
The Coprophiliacs @ The Nimrods game is complete. Game video is attached. I'll probably just do recaps after all the games are complete.
Sutcliffed!!!!
Quote from: Big Hath on 07/21/07, 04:45:31 PM
Quote from: ryno on 07/21/07, 11:48:58 AM
Wow. it's like my childhood. Sandberg Murphy homers, but the team gets their dicks handed to them.
I don't get it.
Sandberg homered in that game.
Press Release
(http://acct.tamu.edu/smith/starwars/darth_vader_esb2.jpg)
(breath, breath) The Force is a binding, magical and ubiquitous power that is not easy to harness and guide.
The Dark Side of the Force is innately tied to the distinctly negative ethical paradigm of the Sith. It is largely based on emotions and passion rather than peace and serenity which are preached by the light side of the Force.
The Dark Side of the Force has manifested within The Empire. There is too much hate, anger, fear, aggression, vengeance, and malice in our clubhouse. The result has been sloppy and uninspiring play.
With our two game losing streak and our hopes for a division title as gone as the 80's, we must regroup and recapture the divine living Force and unifying Force that has propelled The Empire in to the playoffs.
We are still very confident that we can defeat GDavis in his backyard in the playoffs and use the Dark Side of the Force to pop the myraid of pimples that resemble a vast constellation of stars that cover GDavis' back and face.
I am strong with the Force. I am trained in the ways of the Force. Things are going perfectly according to our plans. To our loyal fans, don't fear or worry, create the Force that is needed for The Empire to finish strong and as a champion. Our dynasty has begun and our current two game losing streak is just a disguise over our true Galactic will.
No questions today.
May the Force bless our Galactic Empire.
RYNO......GET THE FUCK IN MY OFFICE AT ONCE. YOU WILL NOT FAIL ME AGAIN.
Quote from: ryno on 07/23/07, 08:37:53 PM
Quote from: Big Hath on 07/21/07, 04:45:31 PM
Quote from: ryno on 07/21/07, 11:48:58 AM
Wow. it's like my childhood. Sandberg Murphy homers, but the team gets their dicks handed to them.
I don't get it.
Sandberg homered in that game.
I was just observing that your childhood experience with Sandberg/Cubs mirror my own experience with Murphy/Braves
My work PC crashed, I thought everything would be fine, because data sheet is backed up on Dee-Nee. I forgot that the program I used to score the games was hand written and not backed up. Fortunately there's only 2 weeks left so I'll update the stats by hand from Fighton's box score. Hopefully in the meantime my old harddrive with be restored.
Big Hath is your avatar from Sin City?
Oh and Team GDavis kicks ass!!!
Quote from: moses on 07/24/07, 03:17:34 PM
Big Hath is your avatar from Sin City?
excellent!
Ive been transfixed on it for what seems like a really long time, trying to figure out where i had seen it from. Im a little slow.
The CommieHitlers vs. Poopydicks game is attached.
Press Release
The Empire would like to inform the public that ryno has resigned effective today.
This critical decision was mutually agreed to. ryno has done a tremendous job for The Empire and we appreciate his hard work on and off the field....although it was not necessary to pull his pants down and play who has the bigger cock.
There were other conflicts of interest and ideology that may have divided us, but a recent incident left me no choice but to have a serious conversation with ryno.
Rumors around the clubhouse suggested that he has been nailing Ryne Sandberg's wife. The Empire usually looks the other way in these kinds of stress reducing acts. However, to my dismay, I discovered ryno filming Sandberg in the shower with his cock in his hand after a voluntary work out. Voyeurism will not be tolerated under any circumstances. A restraining order has also been placed. Ryno is to stay 200 meters away from Mr. Sandberg or risk death.
I shall assume all duties from here on out.
That is all and may the force bless our Galactic Empire.
The Frank Tanana All-Stars @ The Hip Young Popes is complete.
The Attarack @ The OC game is complete. Video is attached.
I fucking hate John Franco
Is the tiebreaker run differential?
Head to head and then RD.
That is fantastic news.
is the empire fucked out of the post season?
I sure as shit hope so.
When do we get to see some recaps?
Crap.
So, I have the tiebreaker against Nacho, Poopydicks have the tiebreaker against me, and Nacho and Poopydicks split their regular season series, I'm pretty sure that means I'm out since I have the worst run differential.
Quote from: ryno on 07/30/07, 08:57:16 PM
is the empire fucked out of the post season?
I sure as shit hope so.
no The Empire is not fucked out. The Empire is in. The standings and records on page one is incorrect. Fighton needs to fix it and address the playoff situation and scenarios.
The standings and records on Page 1 are fine. You need to get fixed.
Quote from: fightonusc on 07/31/07, 02:00:08 PM
The standings and records on Page 1 are fine. You need to get fixed.
« Last Edit: Today at 12:58:16 PM by fightonusc »
Clever man you are....but I do need to get fixed....no quarrels there.
Just get it right the first time....you are better than that.
Yeah, I fixed the fact that I had the bottom two teams in the Gantry Division as 4-6 and not 4-7. That has zero impact on the playoffs. You may be The Force, but I am The Commissioner, and my word is law.
Just trying to help Mr Manfreddi. No need to pull our pants down and see who has the bigger cock. Nevertheless, you should not underestimate the power of the dark side.
CommieHitlers Win, Attarack Loss Causes Doverbi Division Logjam
DEE-NEE CITY - The CommieHitlers moved into a three-way tie for first place in the Doverbi Division heading into the final week of the regular season following at 24-14 victory over The Poopydicks earlier this week at Tengen Stadium. Jose Canseco had a monster game for The CommieHitlers (7-5), clubbing three home runs and driving in seven. Alan Trammell hit four doubles and drove in five, while Julio Franco tied a Fantasy RBI League record with three triples.
Andre Dawson homered twice in defeat for The Poopydicks (7-5) who have put themselves in position to miss the post-season despite leading the division since Week 1.
In other games:
The OC 23, Attarack 18: Bobby Grich and Matt Nokes combined for five HRs and nine RBI as The OC (5-7) spoiled Attarack's (7-5) opportunity to take sole possession of first-place in the Doverbi Division. John Franco gave up nine runs in a fateful eighth inning to doom Attarack.
Coprophiliacs 22, The Nimrods 12: Jim Rice hit three home runs and Darrell Evans added a pair as The Coprophiliacs (6-6) reached .500 for the first time since Week 2. The Nimrods' (4-8) starter Mike Scott took the loss by giving up 10 earned runs in 3 2/3 innings of work.
The Frank Tanana All-Stars 13, The Hip Young Popes 10: Mark McGwire and Jim Lindeman each homered twice to push the Frank Tanana All-Stars (4-8) to their first victory in five games in a battle of Doverbi Division cellar-dwellers. The Hip Young Popes (4-8) were held without a home run despite collecting 21 hits. Displeased hometown Hip Young Popes fans pelted the team with items from an ill-advised Free Collection Box night at the stadium.
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So...there's another week of games?
This changes everything, and I'm an idiot....
Yes, we are going 13 weeks. Remember that two teams from each Division advance to the playoffs.
Basically, here's how the playoff scenarios would work:
- If there is a three-way tie for the two spots, The Poopydicks and Attarack would advance based on the head-to-head records of the three teams (Poopydicks: 3-1, Attarack 2-2, CommieHitlers 1-3).
- The Poopydicks hold the first tiebreaker against Attarack by virtue of their series sweep. They split with the CommieHitlers, but currently own a +29 run differential versus a +18 RD for The CommieHitlers and therefore currently own the tiebreaker (unless The CommieHitlers can overcome an 11-run RD deficit next week).
- Attarack owns the tiebreaker against The CommieHitlers due to their series sweep.
So, the Poopydicks and Attarack are in if they either win next week or the CommieHitlers lose. In order for The CommieHitlers to make the playoffs, they need to win and have either The Poopydicks or Attarack lose.
The Gantry Division is simple - GDavis has clinched the Division Title and The Empire has clinched the other playoff spot.
And let me use this time to make an announcement. I have found that it is in the best interest of the game to restructure the playoff alignments. In order to keep the match-ups fresh and to give Division winners more of a reward for winning their title, the Division winners will now play the No. 2 seeds from the alternate Division in the Playoff semifinals as a Best-of-3 Series. So in this case, GDavis plays the No. 2 team from the Doverbi Division while The Empire will face the Doverbi Division champion.
This decision is final.
Quote from: The Dark Side on 07/31/07, 09:01:23 AM
Quote from: ryno on 07/30/07, 08:57:16 PM
is the empire fucked out of the post season?
I sure as shit hope so.
no The Empire is not fucked out. The Empire is in. The standings and records on page one is incorrect. Fighton needs to fix it and address the playoff situation and scenarios.
shut up you AIDS infested cum bubble.
the force can suck my cock , blah blah blah blah
Quote from: ryno on 07/31/07, 07:47:45 PM
Quote from: The Dark Side on 07/31/07, 09:01:23 AM
Quote from: ryno on 07/30/07, 08:57:16 PM
is the empire fucked out of the post season?
I sure as shit hope so.
no The Empire is not fucked out. The Empire is in. The standings and records on page one is incorrect. Fighton needs to fix it and address the playoff situation and scenarios.
shut up you AIDS infested cum bubble.
the force can suck my cock , blah blah blah blah
The disturbance in the force is now gone. Team workouts have been crisp and very high spirited. Plus Ryne Sandberg can shower in peace now.
Fighton, I shall pm you my lineup changes sooon. Just count on Dykstra to lead off. A simple flip flop of those two.
I'll attend Dale Murphy's celestial sex orgy / MVP Award acceptance party, but that's it for me.
May Elohim have mercy on your soul, Darkside.
I'm thinking about benching Murphy next game.
He needs some rest and I want to take a closer look at Mookie.
This is about the team and not MVP's. My program puts an emphasis on team accomplishments.
That's all The Empire needs is an MVP with a huge ego who can bring my program to shambles.
I shall determine this soon. And it feels nice running my organization without a little dog barking outside my office.
If you cost Murph the MVP, there will be Hell to pay.
I don't think you want any part of Mormon hell, either.
That depends do they make you wear the magic underpants in hell?
I assume in the top of the 5th of the CommieHitler game that Burks hit a HR, but the wording is really strange. Someone (USC) please confirm, or else I'll have to watch the game
Holy crap is Reuschel having an awful season, 2 more games to go hopefully I'll finish Friday, unfortunately I have to do by hand now.
Yeah, it was a Burks HR. I don't know what happened there (hit the wrong button on the program)
Poopydicks need to get their heads out of their asses, ASAP...
Quote from: fightonusc on 08/08/07, 02:54:22 PM
Yeah, it was a Burks HR. I don't know what happened there (hit the wrong button on the program)
It was either that or a two base tiebreaker going all the way home on a 2 base error.
Quote from: Gantry on 08/08/07, 03:10:04 PM
Poopydicks need to get their heads out of their asses, ASAP...
Maybe if I they had a little more support from a certain someone. POOPYDICKS!
Week 12 stat sheet attached. Note no longer tracking the most recent game in the sheets
Good work ultimate7. I lost all of my stats when my computer recently crashed. Silly me did not stash it away in a safe place with my weed paraphernalia.
Cool. The Final Week to start shortly.
Quote from: fknmclane on 08/08/07, 04:06:48 PM
Quote from: Gantry on 08/08/07, 03:10:04 PM
Poopydicks need to get their heads out of their asses, ASAP...
Maybe if I they had a little more support from a certain someone. POOPYDICKS!
I've been giving Alexander peptalks for WEEKS, he is just not responding...