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General => RBI Baseball => Topic started by: ryno on 09/10/20, 06:42:35 PM

Title: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: ryno on 09/10/20, 06:42:35 PM
We've reached the all star break in the SFRBI season and the Dee-Nee TV network has had all access availability to the surging Pabst Blue Ribbons.   GM Ryno put together a decent enough squad centered around superstar talent like Mickey Mantle, Babe Ruth and Roger Maris.  Much to his surprise Maris was a clubhouse cancer.   An early season trade for Gary Gaetti and Chili Davis was bold— losing such a fucking clubhouse presence like HoJo Johnson was tough.  In the end the boost at third was worth it but the addition of highly respected speed /power outfielder Chili Davis almost tore the team apart.

Little did anyone know that 2 under the radar moves would turn the franchise around and set the ribbons on a course of World Series contenders.  The addition of Steve Bedrosian gave the club the leader it needed.  Bed Rock has an indestructible liver and an edge that set him up as not only the team leader and face of the franchise but made him GM Ryno's  confidante and primary consultant on team transactions. 

Following another stellar pitching performance In week 8 Steve and Ryno were still not convinced the team chemistry was right.  Steve insists on putting scrappy Free agent 795'er Bobby Doerr in the leadoff spot and inserting Yaz in a starting outfield spot in place Of struggling bag of shit chili Davis. 

The He moves were magic in week 9.  Both players had multiple hits and went deep to lead the Ribbons to a mercy rule annihilation of bitter rival Ye Old Stylers.  The performances earned Doerr and Yaz their very own olive green Lucky drake vest.  For his efforts Yaz earned a sweet ass gold chain titty necklace.


Following the game a players only meeting was held.  Bed rock laid down the law, explaining that Ribbons second baseman Ryne Sandberg was not pulling his weight.  The players voted to send Sandberg on an all expense paid fishing and whoring trip.  Will Clark was voted to be the one to take sandberg on the excursion.  Sandberg was reluctant to leave his family but team leader Steve Bedrosian assured the hall of fame second sacker that his wife would be "well taken care off."

 

Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: fightonusc on 09/10/20, 11:21:31 PM
Fan fucking tastic
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: Darky on 09/11/20, 05:08:40 AM
Fanfuckin'tastic! Love it! Yaz had a big game as well and Doerr continues to overachieve - he had a good year with Fighton's Spiders. These 795 power guys are valuable and dangerous at times.
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: ryno on 09/11/20, 06:40:59 PM
The hard knocks SFRBI cameras were rolling as Will Clark and Ryne Sandberg went on their team mandated fishing and whoring excursion.  Poles, beers, and one whore were available (PBR operates on a shoestring budget).   The boys (and "girl") left Milwaukee in search of a fishing hole.  As luck would have it they found a resort on Lake Michigan owned by former major leaguer Bobby Bonilla

The boys checked into Bobby's Blunts and Fishing Guide and hit the water.  Things got weird but Sandberg finally started to understand that he needed to loosen up.......


Later that night, after much drinking and smoking, will the thrill got sick and passed out beneath the bed that Sandberg and his lady got their freak on.


Unnamed sources report that Bobby B is looking at investing in the PBR team.  This could mean better facilities, better equipment, and herbal enhancements.   
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: Gantry on 09/11/20, 08:32:13 PM
This artwork is some next level shit
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: ryno on 09/11/20, 08:34:29 PM
Quote from: Gantry on 09/11/20, 08:32:13 PM
This artwork is some next level shit

IPad Pro with ipen FTW
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: BeefMaster on 09/11/20, 10:48:47 PM
WONDERFUL
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: Darky on 09/12/20, 06:17:19 AM
Quote from: Gantry on 09/11/20, 08:32:13 PM
This artwork is some next level shit

Some new wave shit imo...
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: ryno on 09/12/20, 04:30:18 PM
Breaking News

Word out of PBR camp is that while Will Clark took Ryne Sandberg on a team mandated fishing and whoring excursion at Bobby Bonilla's Blunts and Fish Guiding Resort two Ribbons ran a train on Sandbergs wife.   Steve Bedrosian and Chili Davis were the alleged perpetrators.   

We asked Sandberg about the goings on and he said "It's a long season.  Women get Woolley.  Or lonely.  Or weary.  Any way.  Once I got back from the team mandated fishing and whoring excursion I knew 2 things had to happen.  One I had to divorce my wife.  And two I had to pledge my undying love to Janet, the whore who went with me and Will to Bobby B's place."

In a small ceremony officiated by Harry Caray Ryne Sandberg was wed to the lovely Janet. 

The team wished them well and wrote words of encouragement on the happy couples giant wedding card. 

GM Ryno and Steve Bedrosian are hoping this will get Sandberg contributing at a higher level. 

The team can taste a deep post season run and can't afford for a Sandberg to continue hitting .250.
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: nomaaa on 09/12/20, 04:47:15 PM
marrying the token whore is such a Sandberg move
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: ryno on 09/12/20, 05:37:26 PM
Quote from: nomaaa on 09/12/20, 04:47:15 PM
marrying the token whore is such a Sandberg move


He's a nice boy.  Felt obligated. 
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: nomaaa on 09/13/20, 01:31:03 PM
divorces wife, marries chick he cheated on her with

what a simp
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: ryno on 09/14/20, 05:41:48 PM
The PBR train keeps on rolling.  This week the charge was led by a steady offense of Gary Gaetti, Babe Ruth, Rich Gedman, Will Clark.   But the real star was the much rested bullpen of Steve M.F. Bedrosian and Fernando Mania.  Once the Ribbons got close the pen shut it down with nando getting the save. 

Special mention to Joyner with 2 hits and Yogi with a clutch pinch homer.

Fernando mania is running wild!!!

Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: ryno on 09/18/20, 06:13:03 PM
Oh boy.......trouble in PBR land.  Can we turn it around?
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: Darky on 09/18/20, 06:21:57 PM
haha, love it!
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: BeefMaster on 09/24/20, 12:36:19 PM
Ryno, your comments on the rumors that Mantle's rough 1-4 performance against the Beefy Masters was because he was distracted?

(https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/24/Screen-Shot-2018-06-24-at-3.25.06-PM-866x1024.png)
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: ryno on 09/24/20, 01:51:05 PM
Yes!  A similar story was covered in PBR weekly in week 13 edition.  Page 69.  Janet sandberg was the perp
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: ryno on 09/24/20, 06:03:05 PM
The hard knocks cameras were rolling when Team Consultant and general bad mother fucker gathered the boys on the side of a mountain for a team meeting.   They shared a new PBR playoff brew and Steve informed them of the new lineup and pitching rotation. 

Lots of ball left to be played.  Let's get this train back on track!
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: Darky on 09/24/20, 06:06:09 PM
That's a huge beer! Bedrock is pulling out all the stops! Why isn't he in Mantel's face? He is way off his HR pace from the Arcade season and he hasn't been dominating the streets lately!
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: ryno on 09/24/20, 06:43:30 PM
It would appear Mantle is distracted.  Sndbrg needs to reel in his woman. 
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: ryno on 09/30/20, 08:09:32 PM
STAY TUNED MOTHER FUCKERS.  PBR WEEKLY IS CLOSE TO SECURING A LIVE IN PERSON POST GAME INTERVIEW WITH BAD MOTHER FUCKER TEAM CONSULTANT AND WHEELING AND DEALING SONOFAGUN STEVE BEDROSIAN
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: ryno on 09/30/20, 10:14:59 PM

Enjoy

https://youtu.be/gzLn4lDV8TI
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: Darky on 10/01/20, 04:03:36 PM
Quote from: ryno on 09/30/20, 10:14:59 PM

Enjoy

https://youtu.be/gzLn4lDV8TI

Post of the decade in this forum! I showed the video to my brother and he was dying. He couldn't grasp the idea that Ryno went all out over a Nintendo baseball game! And my brother mentioned the vest!
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: Flood on 10/10/20, 10:47:02 AM
Jesus fkn Christ this is amazing work done by ryno.
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: Gantry on 10/10/20, 12:21:05 PM
:thumbsup:
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: ryno on 10/10/20, 12:43:49 PM
Week 17.  After a rough start, Chili Davis s settling into the 2 spot.   He's been big lately and with the boys playing in Vegas t was only fitting that Chili was rewarded with a trip to the bunny ranch following his big game this week.   
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: Flood on 10/11/20, 12:20:58 PM
Those feet
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: ryno on 10/11/20, 07:19:45 PM
Flood you admire art, not question it. 

And yes chili has gnarly feet.  Helps him stay balanced in the box
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: ryno on 10/12/20, 12:52:41 PM
Breaking news.  PBR weekly has learned that a secret conclave meeting between PBR and the BB Kings is going down at Tom's BBQ in memphis.  Full report tonight
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: nomaaa on 10/12/20, 02:19:00 PM
unfortunately the whole team couldn't make the rendezvous, as some were taking care of certain details regarding the devastating loss of joe morgan. but team captain ernie banks was instructed to represent the kings and show the ribbons a great time in memphis
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: Darky on 10/12/20, 05:30:23 PM
Fuck yeah with the PBR and BB Kings meetup! The Empire will send in a spy to gather intel.

Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: ryno on 10/12/20, 10:06:13 PM
Today the rumored secret conclave meeting between members of PBR and BB Kings was confirmed.   PBR weekly's roving reporter was at Toms BBQ in Memphis with the scoop.   Due to the untimely death of Kings 2b Joe Morgan, only team captain Ernie Banks was able to attend.  It was clear that PBRs shenanigans made Banks quite uncomfortable.  Mantle and Ruth arrived early.  They drank Tom's dry.  Ruth ate 4 rib plates and ended up fucking Janet Sandberg until she deflated.   Her husband was noticeably distraught by her behavior but mostly he was just happy the marriage was finally over. 

Steve Bedrosian attended but never said a word.  He never made eye contact with Banks.  We don't know if he was just trying not get an edge with Banks and the BB King's or if he was just pissed because someone invited the Sandbergs and he had to sit next to him. 



RIP Joe Morgan..........and Janet Sandberg



FYI. That's the actual dining room at Tom's
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: ryno on 10/14/20, 09:54:33 PM
Dateline.  Gainesville Florida.   

Following the most embarrassing loss in franchise history, team consultant and bad mother fucker Steve Bedrosian addressed the media at a special scheduled press conference in Gainesville Florida. 

Bedrosian, who had just shit the bed against Ye Old Stylers and lost what could have been a playoff bye clinching victory for PBR, appeared emotionally distraught as he delivered a heart felt intense speech to the media and PBR nation

" I just want to say one thing to the fans and everybody in PBR Nation. I'm sorry. Extremely sorry. We were hoping for a regular season title and first round bye. That was my goal. It's something PBR has never done here. But I promise you one thing: a lot of good will come out of this.


"You have never seen any player in the entire fantasy RBI league play as hard as I will play during the playoffs, and you'll never see someone push the rest of the team as hard as I will push everybody the rest of this season. You'll never see a team play harder than we will the rest of the season. God bless."

Tim Tebow. Steve Bedrosian
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: nomaaa on 10/15/20, 10:35:16 AM
it's no coincidence the blue ribbons had such a rough game after a night on the town with the bb kings riddled w heroin & mary jane. tim raines brought some white women, but it quickly became apparent the blue ribbons weren't as keen on speedballs as they took in the beale street nightlife with the kings
Title: Re: HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition
Post by: ryno on 10/15/20, 05:26:08 PM
We all think We can hold our cocaine and heroin.  But very few of us actually can pull it off.