(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/fightonusc/RBI%20Baseball/RBIBaseballTonightfinal.gif)
Announcer: Welcome to RBI Baseball Tonight. Brought to you by Old Style, the beer that's 100 years old, and tastes like it. And by dumpstersluts.com, asking you, who's got next?
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/fightonusc/RBI%20Baseball/ravech_karl_c.jpg)
KR: Welcome to RBI Baseball Tonight. I'm joined tonight by Peter Gammons and Harold Reynolds. John Kruk is off tonight getting a turkey leg removed from his throat. Today's big game has just gone final. And as you can see...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/fightonusc/RBI%20Baseball/PdStWk3.bmp)
KR: The Stiffs were able to come all the way back from 8-0 down in the 4th inning to pull out an amazing victory and remain undefeated. Let's get to the highlights of the game. In the second inning, leading 2-0, the Poopydicks took advantage of a costly error to break out to a big. John Tudor hits an easy grounder to second. But the first baseman isn't there. The throw goes to the wall, and two runs score. Harold, what happened here?
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/fightonusc/RBI%20Baseball/reynolds_harold_c.jpg)
HR: Part of this is a bad break - the first baseman went for the ball and missed it, but the second baseman "accidentally" caught the ball and quickly fired to first. More than anything, where is Bobby Ojeda? He's supposed to be backing this play up.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/fightonusc/RBI%20Baseball/gammons.jpg)
PG: My sources tell me that he, like every other member of the 1986 Mets, was probably hung over.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/fightonusc/RBI%20Baseball/ravech_karl_c.jpg)
KR: So we move on to two on and two outs in the inning, and Ojeda looking to get out of the jam. But Matt Nokes turns on a fastball and drills it into the bleachers in right center, and like that, it's suddenly 8-0.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/fightonusc/RBI%20Baseball/reynolds_harold_c.jpg)
HR: Too bad that John's having that emergency turkeylegectomy, because he loves to see Fatty Nokes go deep.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/fightonusc/RBI%20Baseball/ravech_karl_c.jpg)
KR: Absolutely. But The Stiffs would come roaring back, and as they've done all season, they'd do it with power. Four home runs in the bottom of the 5th, including a three-run shot by Jack Clark, and they puyt a seven spot of their own up to suddenly take a 9-8 lead.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/fightonusc/RBI%20Baseball/gammons.jpg)
PG: This was a great hitting performance by the Stiffs, especially considering that they do not have one single Red Sox player on their roster. Unbelievable!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/fightonusc/RBI%20Baseball/ravech_karl_c.jpg)
KR: Umm, sure thing, Peter. To the Poopydicks' credit, they would come right back. Top of the sixth, and it's Buckner...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/fightonusc/RBI%20Baseball/gammons.jpg)
PG: Good Christ, don't say that name...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/fightonusc/RBI%20Baseball/ravech_karl_c.jpg)
KR: ...as I was saying, Buckner hits a solo shot. Later in the inning, the Silver Bullet...oh, so pure. A two out, two run bomb to right center, and the Poopydicks are back on top.
Now it's 12-9, bottom of the seventh, and can the Poopydicks' bullpen hold the lead? No. Grich and Hrbek with RBI hits, and then Jose Canseco does what he does best...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/fightonusc/RBI%20Baseball/reynolds_harold_c.jpg)
Steroids?
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/fightonusc/RBI%20Baseball/gammons.jpg)
Get arrested?
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/fightonusc/RBI%20Baseball/ravech_karl_c.jpg)
No, I mean hit home runs. A 546 ft. blast to left center, a three-run shot and suddenly the Stiffs have retaken the lead, 14-12.
But now it's the Stiffs' turn to have their bullpen implode. Top of the ninth, and they're clinging to a 14-13 lead. One out, Lindeman on third after a double, and Jose Cruz on first after a single. And with the game on the line, it's on the shoulders of Bill Buckner...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/fightonusc/RBI%20Baseball/gammons.jpg)
PG: That choking motherf...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/fightonusc/RBI%20Baseball/ravech_karl_c.jpg)
KR: But not a goat this time, as he raps a single down the line over first. Lindeman scores,and we're tied. Then, they call him Rupperto. And he wants to be a hero. A three-run bomb off the top of the scoreboard, and the Poopydicks are up by three.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/fightonusc/RBI%20Baseball/reynolds_harold_c.jpg)
HR: Ruppert Jones is a clutch player, just like I was...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/fightonusc/RBI%20Baseball/gammons.jpg)
PG: Yeah, in all those pennant races you were in with the Mariners, right?
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/fightonusc/RBI%20Baseball/ravech_karl_c.jpg)
KR: Back to the game. The Poopydicks add two insurance runs, and after Todd Worrell gets Henke and Hrbek to start the ninth, you think the game has to be over with a five run lead. But The Stiffs, once again, show that resiliancy they've displayed all season. Joyner doubled. Then Canseco homers. Blank Morris hits a Wallzie through the base of the wall. Clark hits a home run. And then Downing homers. The Stiffs go back-to-back-to-back-to-back to send the game into extra innings.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/fightonusc/RBI%20Baseball/reynolds_harold_c.jpg)
HR: You live by the home run, you CAN die by it, but it didn't happen here. It bailed The Stiffs out time and again today.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/fightonusc/RBI%20Baseball/ravech_karl_c.jpg)
KR: And at this point, the outcome almost was inevitable. Stinky Sullivan actually gets a hit to start off the inning. Then, after a Tom Henke foul out, Kent Hrbek comes to bat, having gone 4 for 6 with a home run to this point.
John Miller, radio voice of RBI Baseball on ESPN: And remember that next Monday is aluminum bat day at Tengen Stadium. First pitch to Hrbek is a fastball that is DRILLED TO RIGHT CENTER! Davis just looks up in place as that ball is WAY GONE!!! INTO THE LIGHTS!!! A NATURAL FOR HRBEK TO END THE GAME!!!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/fightonusc/RBI%20Baseball/ravech_karl_c.jpg)
KR: So there you have it. Hrbek is the hero as his two run shot wins it. That was two of Hrbek's five RBIs. Jack Clark with three home runs and five RBI, while Canseco also had a pair of dingers and five RBI. In the loss, Darrell Evans and Ruppert Jones each with two dingers and four RBI. Harold, thoughts on the game?
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/fightonusc/RBI%20Baseball/reynolds_harold_c.jpg)
HR: Well, hats off to The Stiffs, for making this big comeback not once, but twice. But really, this was a choke of monumental proportions by The Poopydicks, and I guess something you'd expect from a team with Buckner...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/fightonusc/RBI%20Baseball/gammons.jpg)
PG: My ears, they burn!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/fightonusc/RBI%20Baseball/reynolds_harold_c.jpg)
HR: ...leading off for them. They had two outs in the ninth, and a five run lead. All they need is one out, and they're at home with a comfortable victory. But Todd Worrell completely, I guess you can say, just fell apart. Five pitches, five hits, four home runs, and suddenly, the momenteum is totally switched.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/fightonusc/RBI%20Baseball/ravech_karl_c.jpg)
KR: One of the players on the hot seat this week in the local media has been Chili Davis. He finished 3 for 6, but only one extra base hit, a double, and no RBI. Peter, is this enough to satisfy management?
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/fightonusc/RBI%20Baseball/gammons.jpg)
PG: My sources within the Poopydicks management tell me that they this was a game that was going to go a long way in making a decision about Davis. Yes, he had three hits. But one of those was a single on a questionable call by the scorer, and again, no home runs or RBI. I think things are going to get pretty hot in the desert, if you know what I mean. Get it? "Hot" in the desert?
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/fightonusc/RBI%20Baseball/ravech_karl_c.jpg)
KR: We absolutely got that, Grandpa Munster. Some advice, humor isn't your strength. Well, that's all the time we have here. Stay tuned to ESPN, as we have a new episode of the World Series of Poker, this time the Strip Poker finals. Chris Moneymaker is at the final table, and I'm sure you won't want to miss that.
Stats
The Poopydicks (1-2)
Batting:
Buckner: 2-7, HR, 2 R, 2 RBI, 2 K
Jones: 2-6, 2 HR, 2 R, 4 RBI
Davis: 3-6, 2B, 2 R
Evans: 5-6, 2 HR, 2B, 4 R, 4 RBI
Nokes: 3-5, HR, 2 2B, 2 R, 4 RBI
Lemon: 2-6, R, RBI
Bergman: 1-6, R
Mitchell: 2-4, 2 2B, 2 R, RBI
Tudor: 1-2, 2B, R
Blyleven: 1-2, 2B, RBI
Lopes: 1-1, R
Lindeman: 1-1, 2B, R
Bush: 0-1
Pitching:
Tudor: 4 1/3 IP, 8 H, 5 R, 4 ER, 1 K
Blyleven: 2 2/3 IP, 10 H, 9 R, 9 ER, 1 K
Franco: 1 IP, 1 H
Worrell (L 0-1): 1 1/3 IP, 7 H, 7 R, 7 ER
The Stiffs (3-0)
Batting:
Hrbek: 5-7, 2 HR, 2B, 3 R, 5 RBI
Joyner: 3-6, 2 2B, 2 R
Canseco: 2-6, 2 HR, 3 R, 5 RBI, 2 K
Jo. Morris: 3-6, HR, 2 2B, 2 R, RBI
J. Clark: 3-6, 3 HR, 3 R, 5 RBI
Downing: 3-6, HR, 2B, 2 R, RBI
Brenly: 2-6, HR, 2 R, RBI
Grich: 3-4, 2B, 2 R, 2 RBI
Ojeda: 0-1
Speier: 1-1, 2B, RBI
Cox: 1-1, R
Spilman: 0-1
Thon: 0-1
Henke: 0-2
Sullivan: 1-1, R
Pitching:
Ojeda: 4 IP, 10 H, 8 R, 5 ER, 1 K
Cox: 3 IP, 5 H, 4 R, 4 ER 1 K
Robinson: 1 IP, 2 H, R, ER
Henke (W 1-0): 7 H, 6 R, 6 ER
Nicely done again USC. Mcclane, I think you blew your chance to unload Bert, 2 straight games getting rocked, maybe it wasn't a fluke.
fightonusc, you are my hero.
I'm going to burn Worrell at the stake. 4 fucking homers in a row? That's a fucking joke.
Looks like I need to shake up my lineup a little. And yes, ultimate, I've blown my foot off with Bert Blyleven.
The only thing keeping me from going completely fucking nuts is the incredible effort put in my usc on this entire project. Dude, you continue to outdo yourself. Keep up the good work.
Henke gave up 6 in the 9th and got the W. ::)
"PG: This was a great hitting performance by the Stiffs, especially considering that they do not have one single Red Sox player on their roster. Unbelievable!"
Come on Peter, they have Sullivan
Well, to be fair, he meant an "actual" BoSox player, not Stinky Sullivan. That's like claiming Charlie Hayes as a Yankee.
Charlie Haynes is a marvelous man... nicely done fightonusc.
nice job fighton. but wheres the love for johny one nut