THE DEE NEE TIMES
Los Angeles, California
Thursday, June 09, 2005
"World's First Case of Shit for Brains Confirmed"
In what is believed to be a first for the human race, a Los Angeles man has indeed been confirmed to have shit for brains.
The young man, Richard Manfredi, has somehow gotten through life for 25 years despite his obvious handicap. According to those close to him, the revelation is not much of a surprise.
"Let's face it, I'm a saint. I've had to put up with his shit for a number of years now. I'll tell you what, this just confirms what I've been suspecting for years. Now I know why he saves his vomit in styrofoam cups under our bed," said Mrs. Manfredi.
"The guy picked Thora Birch in a fantasy babe draft! Not much else needs to be said," added Gantry Zettler, head of the phenomenon that is DEE NEE, from his fortified basement in Illinois.
When asked how his patient has so far lived a rather full life, which includes a marriage and college education, Dr. Doctor offered: "It's rather simple really, much like my shit for brains patient here. Shit is attracted to shit, hence Mr. Manfredi's affinity to the University of Southern California. Shit looks for the simple things in life, for the easy way out, if you will. My shit for brains patient has a deep love for kickball and wrestling, things most people, even his idol Peter McGrath, stop loving when they reach the age of 8 or 9."
(http://www.thespud.com/cards/images/shit-for-brains.jpg)
Asked to comment on the status of his self-proclaimed "biggest fan," Peter McGrath was very short and to the point: "Look, I might be a fucking retard, but damnit, I can run pretty fucking fast. And you know what else? I don't have shit for brains! Fuck that Manfredi douchebag. I bet he's got urine running through his veins as well. Wanna see me blow a spit bubble?"
The question running through many Los Angelinos' heads, except Mr Manfredi, of course, is where does the man with shit for brains go from here? Rumor has it, he will be leaving the Golden State in just over two weeks to participate in an unorthodox cleansing ritual to be presided over by the dee nee community and headed by Mark McLane.
"Here's how it works. It's rather simple, really. After pulling his head out of his ass I'll be pouring copius amounts of Jager, High Life and PBR down his throat. My foot will also be up his ass and we hope this will kickstart the conversion of shit to actual gray matter in his head. We know it's a long shot, but Mrs. Manfredi deserves much better than a man with shit for brains, a man whose only known skills include whistling that riduculous song the usc band plays every two minutes and the ability to pull his socks up to his balls."
However this whole bizarre situation turns out, one thing puzzles this reporter: does Mr. Manfredi wipe his mouth when he shits?
Body blow!
The floor is yours, Mr. Fighton.
I only respond to something that's even remotely funny. Carrot Top's bit where he puuts his hair into pigtails and says "Look, I'm Wendy from the fast food place!"? That's a stroke of comedy genius next to what fknmclane did.
What about when he wears the Domino's delivery outfit, how does that compare?
Savage work mclane, the battle continues...
Quote from: fknmclane on 06/09/05, 03:49:17 PM
Asked to comment on the status of his self-proclaimed "biggest fan," Peter McGrath was very short and to the point: "Look, I might be a fucking retard, but damnit, I can run pretty fucking fast. And you know what else? I don't have shit for brains! Fuck that Manfredi douchebag. I bet he's got urine running through his veins as well. Wanna see me blow a spit bubble?"
holy crap thats funny! ;D