HOLLYWOOD, CA - Fantasy RBI League commissioner Richard Manfreddy announced today that he is placing The Mexican Hermaphrodite Whores on the market for new ownership. The team had been controlled by the league since owner Ryno left Dee-Nee in a huff.
"It is in the best interest of the league that the new ownership is selected as quickly as possible," said Manfreddy in a statement released Monday afternoon from his palatial estate in the Hollywood Hills. "Our main concern is selecting an owner that will take the Fantasy RBI League with the seriousness that it deserves. Also, kicking a few dollars up to the top wouldn't hurt either, if you know what I mean."
Manfreddy instructed anyone interested in taking over ownership to submit a bid to The Official Bid on the Mexican Hermaphrodite Whores Thread on Dee-Nee.com by the end of the day on Tuesday. Offers should include the new team name, logo, and reasons why the new owner would be the best choice to take over the team.
The OC would like to buy this team...
So what are the reasons that the OC should take control of this team? Plus you forgot to submit the new team name and logo.
The commissioner would politely suggestion that The OC should try to get their team above the .500 mark before they spread themselves too thin running other teams.
The owners of the POOPYDICKS! respectfully request that no current owner of a team be allowed to run the Mexican Hermaphrodite Whores (why exactly they'd want to be losing not once but twice to the POOPYDICKS! every week is beyond us.)
THE GALACTIC EMPIRE
OFFICIAL PROPOSAL BID
STATEMENT OF INTENT
The Empire hereby formally announces it's intention to obtain The Mexican Hermaphrodite Whores. The purpose of this proposal is to help market Fantasy RBI on a global scale with our Stockholm, Sweden location. Our intent is help maintain stability in the Fantasy RBI League, and strengthen the Fantasy RBI League with our relentless and committed dedication to field a superior product that should be an innovative model for success for any organization.
The Empire is fully aware and familiar of the Fantasy League and players by maintaining our very own independent statistics of the Fantasy Teams and players. We are currently running The Fantasy Watch publication with the Darkside as the editor in chief.
The Empire agrees that if it is selected as the successful team owner, that we will comply with the current legislative measures by the governing body of the Fantasy League. The Empire also has no quarrels with any future terms of agreement/conditons documents that may be presented in a legal contract.
Specify the amount, if any, required to accompany the bid. Detail any other specifications, conditions, or information in reference to the goods or services desired or required. Clearly identify any specifications which must be provided in order for the bid to be responsive. It is suggested that numbered questions/items be included IN public for each Proposer to respond to by number. This will assure fairness in evaluation and facilitate preparation of the final contract.
TEAM NAME: THE EMPIRE
OWNER : THE DARK SIDE
INSTITUTION : GALACTIC EMPIRE
DEPARTMENT: RBI FANTASY BASEBALL
TEAM COLORS : PURE BLACK WITH RED BATS IF POSSIBLE
TEAM LOGO:
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/ea/Star_wars_galactic_empire_emblem.svg/200px-Star_wars_galactic_empire_emblem.svg.png)
nay
i'd like a team.
i've got some popsicles in the basement.
Quote from: nomaaa on 01/15/07, 07:22:58 PM
i'd like a team.
i've got some popsicles in the basement.
Tell me more. What flavor are they? They aren't Otter Pops, are they?
If they're otter pops and I can get 1/3 of what he has available then I'm voting for nomaa.
Quote from: fightonusc on 01/15/07, 11:02:32 PM
Quote from: nomaaa on 01/15/07, 07:22:58 PM
i'd like a team.
i've got some popsicles in the basement.
Tell me more. What flavor are they? They aren't Otter Pops, are they?
I counter with a Dala horse and some Orrefors crystal design. I'll even throw in 100 kronors!
(http://www.trycare.co.uk/chiropodists/techdata/redhorse.gif)
(http://www.glasboden.se/p_images/ma/m88161_se.jpg)
i thought i set some reasonable terms for darkside's ownership in a different thread.
Quote from: TBG on 01/16/07, 12:55:07 PM
i thought i set some reasonable terms for darkside's ownership in a different thread.
Actually, your terms and conditions sounds pretty fair. Plus there is no shipping involved.
Nobody seems to be interested. What a shame on ignoring such a spectacular opportunity.
Well I am very excited at a chance to participate in the Fantasy League. nomaa seems interested, but he never clarified the reasons why he would be the best choice to take over the team.
Quote from: fightonusc on 01/15/07, 04:01:08 PM
Offers should include the new team name, logo, and reasons why the new owner would be the best choice to take over the team.
Quote from: nomaaa on 01/15/07, 07:22:58 PM
i'd like a team.
i've got some popsicles in the basement.
Very unprofessional and the media is making a buzz out of this as a slap in the face to Mr. Manfreddy.
How about a DS/Nomaa combo? Worked for the POOPYDICKS...
I'm still in favor of keeping it Ryno's team.
Quote from: Gantry on 01/16/07, 07:47:03 PM
How about a DS/Nomaa combo? Worked for the POOPYDICKS...
Nomaa can join the Empire as an intern. His role would be in public relations with the objective to attract young Swedish teens to the games.
Quote from: ultimate7 on 01/16/07, 07:56:52 PM
I'm still in favor of keeping it Ryno's team.
I second this motion.
nay to darkside
maybe there should be stipulations if ryno returns, but if not, i don't have a problem with darky taking over the team.
Quote from: Gantry on 01/16/07, 07:47:03 PM
How about a DS/Nomaa combo? Worked for the POOPYDICKS...
i was just coming on here to post this.
i'm all for it, but it's up to darkside.
however, back to my initial offer, i've still got 3 Alexander the Grapes, a few poncho punches, and a strawberry short sock with mclane's name on it.
Why should we wait around for Ryno? He deleted his account, is no longer a member of Dee-Nee, and we shouldn't cater to him for doing something like that, particularly since it has been more than two weeks since he left. Maybe if he returned the next day, but he deleted his account and shouldn't be offended when the rest of us just move on.
I say we give it to Troogs
At least Roogs didn't delete his account. Or maybe he just doesn't know how.
Why has my phone not rang? We are anxiously awaiting Mr. Manfreddy's ruling.
nomaa may join The Empire as my consultant, head of pr with the teen target group, and to execute tasks that may be desired by The Dark Side. I shall appoint him as the Director Of Business Development/N. America.
MEDIA ALERT
The Associated Press is reporting that a press conference is scheduled for later this afternoon at Fantasy RBI League Offices in Hollywood to announce a decision on the awarding of the Mexican Hermaphrodite Whores franchise.
Quote from: The Dark Side on 01/17/07, 01:43:09 PM
Why has my phone not rang? We are anxiously awaiting Mr. Manfreddy's ruling.
nomaa may join The Empire as padwan my consultant, head of pr with the teen target group, and to execute tasks that may be desired by The Dark Side. I shall appoint him as the Director Of Business Development/N. America.
BREAKING NEWS
Hollywood Hills, CA (CNN) - The Dark Side of the Galactic Empire has flown in to Hollywood to answer questions to the media face to face about the imminent ruling on the new Mexican Hermaphrodites owner.
About 333 Imperial stormtroopers were seen surrounding the luxurious home of Fantasy RBI Commissioner Mr. Manfreddy. It is believed that if the ruling does not go to The Dark Side, there may be serious consequences for Mr. Manfreddy.
The Dark Side's response to CNN reporters were brief, " It's a difficult leap to make--embracing Darth Vader and the Galactic Empire over Ryno and his infatuations for Bonny, The Cubs, and Arkansas--but a careful examination of the facts, sorted apart from Rynos legacy on dee nee, makes a quite convincing case.
The deep lesson of that I am trying to convey is that the Empire is good and we don't ever quit anything until we have complete control and supremacy.
(http://static.flickr.com/7/6623563_3aa7a43eb5_m.jpg)
(http://www.jenskleemann.de/wissen/bildung/media/c/cb/hollywood_hills.jpg)
Should someone tell DarkSide the only ManFreddy's press releases are funny?
Quote from: Nacho on 01/17/07, 02:48:40 PM
Should someone tell DarkSide the only ManFreddy's press releases are funny?
We are not going to comment on that. We are not in the business to make our readers laugh. Just report.
TRANSCRIPT OF FANTASY RBI LEAGUE PRESS CONFERENCE WITH COMMISSIONER RICHARD MANFREDDY
JANUARY 17, 2007, 1:43 PM PACIFIC
RM: First, I want to thank you all for coming. I know that it's tough to get people outside in California in 50 degree weather...
<pause for polite laughter>
...so I definitely appreciate it. I want to make this brief, since I have an appointment at 2 p.m. with a giant blender of strawberry margaritas. As you know, the Fantasy RBI League put The Mexican Hermaphrodite Whores up for bid to a new owner following the sudden departure of Ryno from the Dee-Nee Forums a few weeks ago. The Commissioner's Office has reviewed several proposals, and while each had their own unique benefits, we have come to a conclusion:
Therefore, we would like to extend congratulations to Dark Side as the newest Fantasy RBI League owner. As of today, The Mexican Hermaphrodite Whores will now be named The Empire, and will operate out of Sweden. Of course, as with every Fantasy RBI League team, they will play all of their games at Tengen Stadium in Dee-Nee City.
There are several reasons why we selected Dark Side's bid above all others: a) he has shown himself to be a true fan of Fantasy RBI baseball with his frequent postings and comments on games; b) he put together the most thorough and complete package of anyone submitting a bid; c) he felt that this is a critical next step in the expansion of Fantasy RBI into the international market; and d) while I don't want to get into specifics about how much has paid for the rights to the team, let's just say that if David Beckham was paid this kind of kronor, he'd be playing for IF Elfsborg right now...
Let's open the floor for any questions:
<unintelligible mumbling off-mic>
RM: Yes, nomaa has a very...interesting offer. However, I was personally put off by his constant appealing to fknmclane for a spot, offering flavors of Otter Pops in return. While fknmclane is an important member of the relocation committee, I make final decisions! And I hope that everyone understands that by now.
How, I am impressed by the young man, and have order him to be installed as the new manager of The Empire. Dark Side as owner/GM will have final say over all personnel matters such as trades. I expect nomaa to work with his GM to set the line-ups based on the players he is given.
<unintelligible mumbling off-mic>
RM: No, I haven't talked to nomaa about this yet. And I don't really need to, because...well, that's just the way it's going to be.
<unintelligible mumbling off-mic>
RM: No, Dark Side is not at this press conference. Obviously, he's in Sweden rehabbing from his off-season bike accident. That, and like I said, I need to get out of here to get drunk in about 15 minutes, and his answer to any one question might take twice that long.
<unintelligible mumbling off-mic>
RM: What's that? I can't hear you...
<louder, unintelligible mumbling off-mic>
RM: Oh, OK, right. As you might know, Dark Side had requested that the new team colors be black with red bats. However, as you know, that is the current color scheme of the CommieHitlers, who have merchandisable rights to that scheme. Therefore, we've mandated that The Empire be an All Black team, from uniforms to bat and helmets to the players' skin tone.
In addition, when The Empire plays either The CommieHitlers or The Frank Tanana All-Stars – who also have a mainly black uniform – on the road, they will be required to play in a second uniform scheme of their choosing.
I think this is a compromise that works well for all parties while keeping with the integrity of The Empire's image.
OK, last question – I'm sobering up here, and that's not good for anyone....
<unintelligible mumbling off-mic>
RM: No, Ryno will not have any rights to the team if he returns. It's one thing to take a leave of absence from Dee-Nee. It's another thing entirely to delete your account without warning, and certainly it's beyond the pale to do so without informing the league offices. If Ryno returns and wants to be involved again, he would start out at the ground floor as an expansion team like anyone else.
As BIll Maher told my dad, 'sir, let the plumber fix the sink.' fighton is the master.
I would also like to point out to nomaa that it's "Strawberry Short Kook", not "Sock", and that not including any Little Orphan Orange is a deal-breaker for me.
Stockholm, Sweden - The Empire would like to thank Mr. Manfreddy for his prudent choice. It saved his life.
We are very excited with this unbelievable opportunity and we are more than confident that our European market will grow in progression with our success.
We intend to uphold and protect the integrity of the RBI Fantasy League. We intend to play with class and good sportsmanship that has been the hallmark of the Fantasy League.
This is a great day here for the jubilant Galactic Empire.
May the force be with you.
(http://static.flickr.com/7/6623563_3aa7a43eb5_m.jpg)
BTW, brilliant transcript Mr. Manfreddy. Simply brilliant, entertaining, and I am still laughing. I love this thread.
That IF Elfsborg reference had me rollin.
Stockholm, Sweden - As new team owner and GM, The Dark Side would like to publicly confirm that Luke nomaa will be managing The Empire on the tengen field.
nomaa has also been appointed executive vice president of RBI operations in North America as well as director of business development in N.America. We expect a lot from this young energetic kid, and we have no doubt that he will do a perfect job with his life on the line.
nomaa has the liberty to suggest a line up change as the manager. However, in accordance with the terms and conditions set by the RBI Fantasy governing body, the Darkside has full authority to confirm or veto his suggestion.
The Empire also grants nomaa the freedom to publicly express any comments as he wishes in regards to the games, our opponents, opposing players, our players, and Mr. Manfreddy.
The Empire would also like to announce our away uniforms when matched up against The CommieHitlers or The Frank Tanana All-Stars to be that of the color of our Imperial stormtroopers.
Line up changes shall be announced in the week 5 thread of the Fantasy League.
We would also like to thank King Carl XVI Gustaf and his daughter Victoria for helping us facilitate the proper actions and resources in order for us to place our headquarters in his my Castle in Stockholm.
May the Force bless our Galactic Empire.
(http://theforce.net/swtc/Pix/dvd/ep6/arrive9.jpg)
so we're either all black or all white?
i like it.
See...this is why he can't have a team.
I think this is good as there's always a chance that Darky's team just won't show up to a game and my team can get an easy default victory.
Quote from: Shooty Babitt on 01/18/07, 07:50:43 AM
I think this is good as there's always a chance that Darky's team just won't show up to a game and my team can get an easy default victory.
Nonsense.
Today I addressed the players about our team rules, codes of conduct, and introduced our new manager
Luke nomaa. We made it clear that nobody's job is safe and that they should expect a shake up in the lineup before our first game as The Empire.
We had our first work out today. It went well and we ran some live bp, went over relays, first and third situations, and nomaa ran the fuck out of em after practice. Apparently, Ryno had too much food laying around the clubhouse for the players which explained their bubbleness.
Tomorrow we will be playing a scrimmage game against the Rebel Alliance.