Official Bid on the Mexican Hermaphrodite Whores Thread

[TβG]

maybe there should be stipulations if ryno returns, but if not, i don't have a problem with darky taking over the team.

[nomaaa]

How about a DS/Nomaa combo?  Worked for the POOPYDICKS...

i was just coming on here to post this.
i'm all for it, but it's up to darkside.


however, back to my initial offer, i've still got 3 Alexander the Grapes, a few poncho punches, and a strawberry short sock with mclane's name on it.

[Nacho]

Why should we wait around for Ryno?  He deleted his account, is no longer a member of Dee-Nee, and we shouldn't cater to him for doing something like that, particularly since it has been more than two weeks since he left.  Maybe if he returned the next day, but he deleted his account and shouldn't be offended when the rest of us just move on.

[BDawk]

I say we give it to Troogs

[Nacho]

At least Roogs didn't delete his account.  Or maybe he just doesn't know how.

[Darky]

Why has my phone not rang? We are anxiously awaiting Mr. Manfreddy's ruling.

nomaa may join The Empire as my consultant, head of pr with the teen target group, and to execute tasks that may be desired by The Dark Side. I shall appoint him as the Director Of Business Development/N. America.

[fightonusc]

MEDIA ALERT

The Associated Press is reporting that a press conference is scheduled for later this afternoon at Fantasy RBI League Offices in Hollywood to announce a decision on the awarding of the Mexican Hermaphrodite Whores franchise.

[TβG]

Why has my phone not rang? We are anxiously awaiting Mr. Manfreddy's ruling.

nomaa may join The Empire as padwan my consultant, head of pr with the teen target group, and to execute tasks that may be desired by The Dark Side. I shall appoint him as the Director Of Business Development/N. America.

[Darky]

BREAKING NEWS

Hollywood Hills, CA (CNN) - The Dark Side of the Galactic Empire has flown in to Hollywood to answer questions to the media face to face about the imminent ruling on the new Mexican Hermaphrodites owner.

About 333 Imperial stormtroopers were seen surrounding the luxurious home of Fantasy RBI Commissioner Mr. Manfreddy. It is believed that if the ruling does not go to The Dark Side, there may be serious consequences for Mr. Manfreddy.

The Dark Side's response to CNN reporters were brief, " It's a difficult leap to make--embracing Darth Vader and the Galactic Empire over Ryno and his infatuations for Bonny, The Cubs, and Arkansas--but a careful examination of the facts, sorted apart from Rynos legacy on dee nee, makes a quite convincing case.
The deep lesson of that I am trying to convey is that the Empire is good and we don't ever quit anything until we have complete control and supremacy.

[Nacho]

Should someone tell DarkSide the only ManFreddy's press releases are funny?

[Darky]

Should someone tell DarkSide the only ManFreddy's press releases are funny?

We are not going to comment on that. We are not in the business to make our readers laugh. Just report.

[fightonusc]

TRANSCRIPT OF FANTASY RBI LEAGUE PRESS CONFERENCE WITH COMMISSIONER RICHARD MANFREDDY

JANUARY 17, 2007, 1:43 PM PACIFIC

RM: First, I want to thank you all for coming. I know that it's tough to get people outside in California in 50 degree weather...

<pause for polite laughter>

...so I definitely appreciate it. I want to make this brief, since I have an appointment at 2 p.m. with a giant blender of strawberry margaritas. As you know, the Fantasy RBI League put The Mexican Hermaphrodite Whores up for bid to a new owner following the sudden departure of Ryno from the Dee-Nee Forums a few weeks ago. The Commissioner's Office has reviewed several proposals, and while each had their own unique benefits, we have come to a conclusion:

Therefore, we would like to extend congratulations to Dark Side as the newest Fantasy RBI League owner. As of today, The Mexican Hermaphrodite Whores will now be named The Empire, and will operate out of Sweden. Of course, as with every Fantasy RBI League team, they will play all of their games at Tengen Stadium in Dee-Nee City.

There are several reasons why we selected Dark Side's bid above all others: a) he has shown himself to be a true fan of Fantasy RBI baseball with his frequent postings and comments on games; b) he put together the most thorough and complete package of anyone submitting a bid; c) he felt that this is a critical next step in the expansion of Fantasy RBI into the international market; and d) while I don't want to get into specifics about how much has paid for the rights to the team, let's just say that if David Beckham was paid this kind of kronor, he'd be playing for IF Elfsborg right now...

Let's open the floor for any questions:

<unintelligible mumbling off-mic>

RM: Yes, nomaa has a very...interesting offer. However, I was personally put off by his constant appealing to fknmclane for a spot, offering flavors of Otter Pops in return. While fknmclane is an important member of the relocation committee, I make final decisions! And I hope that everyone understands that by now.

How, I am impressed by the young man, and have order him to be installed as the new manager of The Empire. Dark Side as owner/GM will have final say over all personnel matters such as trades. I expect nomaa to work with his GM to set the line-ups based on the players he is given.

<unintelligible mumbling off-mic>

RM: No, I haven't talked to nomaa about this yet. And I don't really need to, because...well, that's just the way it's going to be.

<unintelligible mumbling off-mic>

RM: No, Dark Side is not at this press conference. Obviously, he's in Sweden rehabbing from his off-season bike accident. That, and like I said, I need to get out of here to get drunk in about 15 minutes, and his answer to any one question might take twice that long.

<unintelligible mumbling off-mic>

RM: What's that? I can't hear you...

<louder, unintelligible mumbling off-mic>

RM: Oh, OK, right. As you might know, Dark Side had requested that the new team colors be black with red bats. However, as you know, that is the current color scheme of the CommieHitlers, who have merchandisable rights to that scheme. Therefore, we've mandated that The Empire be an All Black team, from uniforms to bat and helmets to the players' skin tone.

In addition, when The Empire plays either The CommieHitlers or The Frank Tanana All-Stars – who also have a mainly black uniform – on the road, they will be required to play in a second uniform scheme of their choosing.

I think this is a compromise that works well for all parties while keeping with the integrity of The Empire's image.

OK, last question – I'm sobering up here, and that's not good for anyone....

<unintelligible mumbling off-mic>

RM: No, Ryno will not have any rights to the team if he returns. It's one thing to take a leave of absence from Dee-Nee. It's another thing entirely to delete your account without warning, and certainly it's beyond the pale to do so without informing the league offices. If Ryno returns and wants to be involved again, he would start out at the ground floor as an expansion team like anyone else.

[fathedX]

As BIll Maher told my dad, 'sir, let the plumber fix the sink.'  fighton is the master.

[fightonusc]

I would also like to point out to nomaa that it's "Strawberry Short Kook", not "Sock", and that not including any Little Orphan Orange is a deal-breaker for me.

[Darky]

Stockholm, Sweden - The Empire would like to thank Mr. Manfreddy for his prudent choice. It saved his life.

We are very excited with this unbelievable opportunity and we are more than confident that our European market will grow in progression with our success.

We intend to uphold and protect the integrity of the RBI Fantasy League. We intend to play with class and good sportsmanship that has been the hallmark of the Fantasy League.

This is a great day here for the jubilant Galactic Empire.

May the force be with you.

[Darky]

BTW, brilliant transcript Mr. Manfreddy. Simply brilliant, entertaining, and I am still laughing. I love this thread.

That IF Elfsborg reference had me rollin.

[Darky]

Stockholm, Sweden - As new team owner and GM, The Dark Side would like to publicly confirm that Luke nomaa will be managing The Empire on the tengen field.

nomaa has also been appointed executive vice president of RBI operations in North America as well as director of business development in N.America. We expect a lot from this young energetic kid, and we have no doubt that he will do a perfect job with his life on the line.

nomaa has the liberty to suggest a line up change as the manager. However, in accordance with the terms and conditions set by the RBI Fantasy governing body, the Darkside has full authority to confirm or veto his suggestion.

The Empire also grants nomaa the freedom to publicly express any comments as he wishes in regards to the games, our opponents, opposing players, our players, and Mr. Manfreddy.

The Empire would also like to announce our away uniforms when matched up against The CommieHitlers or The Frank Tanana All-Stars to be that of the color of our Imperial stormtroopers.

Line up changes shall be announced in the week 5 thread of the Fantasy League.

We would also like to thank King Carl XVI Gustaf and his daughter Victoria for helping us facilitate the proper actions and resources in order for us to place our headquarters in his my Castle in Stockholm.

May the Force bless our Galactic Empire.

[nomaaa]

so we're either all black or all white?

i like it.

[BDawk]

See...this is why he can't have a team.

[Shooty]

I think this is good as there's always a chance that Darky's team just won't show up to a game and my team can get an easy default victory.