FRBI VI week 11

[Darky]

Killer D!

What was the deal with the fingers commentating?

That was the work of my son. He wanted to be on youtube hahaha.

Tell him the next time he does that I'm going to lunge at Tom Brady's knees from the ground.

My son should get a good laugh at of the responses here. He keeps asking me what everybody said about his finger show and antics during the filmed games.

[Darky]

Galactic Empire quickly annihilate Pabst Blue Ribbons


Imperial Center (AP) - With the FRBI ERA league leader D.Sutton on the mound, the Empire did not flinch.

The Empire scored 13 runs off 16 hits off the league's best pitcher so far this season. D.Sutton had his worst outing of the year and appeared intimidated once he stepped into the mystique of the environment at Imperial Center Stadium. His league leading ERA shot up 2 runs to 11.6.

B.Madlck continues to terrorize the league as the league leader in average and among the leaders in HR's and RBI's as he went 3-3 at the plate with two 2B's, a HR, and 3 RBI's. Madlck raised his league leading average to .731 and now has 13 HR's on the year.

The Empire remain undefeated at home.
The win coupled with the Fighting Ulracher's loss gives the Empire the best record in the FRBI League. The Empire remain in first place by two games and now have been there in 32/33 weeks. An impressive run of dominance to say the least.


Pabst Blue Ribbons 5-6, (4-3)
Galactic Empire 8-3, (4-2)

[Darky]

Rebel Alliance cruise to easy victory


Madison (AP) -  The Alliance jumped all over B.Ojeda for 11 runs after 3 innings and never looked back as they cruised to a commanding 15-5 mercy rule victory.

J.Morris pitched all 8 innings and performed brilliantly as he only gave up 5 runs and 11 hits.
Tramml and E.Davis kick-started the blowout from the top of the order as they combined to go 8-10 with 7 RBI's. Tramml also hit a grand slam which seemed to kill the fight in the Fighting Artichokes.


Fighting Artichokes 3-8, (2-5)
Rebel Alliance 5-6, (4-4)

[Barton]

Darky -- Here's the Alliance's stats with the last game added on.

[Darky]

OC Legions of Doom second gear too much for Fighting Ulrachers, create first place log jam


Chicago (AP) - After four innings, the OC and Ulrachers were engaged in a tight ball game with the OC up 5-4. Then B.Hurst came in to relieve Gooden which turned out to be a free for all.

The high octane offense of the OC pounded Hurst for 9 runs and 5 HR's in the 5th. Downing hit two of those 5 shots in the inning and Brookin-Rice-McGwir-Downing hit consecutive homers and silenced the crowd at Soldier Field.

The OC put the game away in the 7th inning as they scored 4 runs to go up 18 to 5, and Witt only allowed one run in the inning as he helped the OC mercy rule the Ulrachers.

The 2-3-4 part of the order for the OC appears to be the Doom part of the order for opponents. J.Rice now has 13 HR's, McGwir has 14 HR's, and Downing has a league leading 15 HR's.

The win over the first place Ulrachers, coupled with the Sally Cunts win, has now created a 3-way tie  for first place in the Gantry League.


OC Legions of Doom 7-4, (4-3)
Fighting Ulrachers 7-4, (5-2)

[Darky]

Sally Cunts hold off Banana Hammocks, move into a first place tie in the Gantry League


Milwaukee (AP) - In a pitchers duel that ended with more scoring in the 8th and 9th innings, the visiting Sally Cunts narrowly escaped a last inning collapse as they held off the Hammocks to win 11-10.

With the game tied at 3 after 6 innings, the Cunts went up 4-3 in the seventh inning after a Molitor triple which was followed by a Viola ground out that scored him despite the drawn in infield.

In the 8th, Murphy hit  solo blast and Mitchel hit a 3-run blast to put the Cunts up 8-3. The Hammocks responded with a 2-run Hendsn HR to slim the Cunt lead 8-5.

The Cunts put the pressure on in the 9th by scoring 3 runs off reliever Dayley to go up 11-5 going into the bottom half of the 9th. The crowd rose to their feet to energize the home team Hammocks, and it seemed to invigorate them. The Hammocks responded when Garner led off the inning with single which was followed by a fury of hits. The momentum was on the Hammock's side with runners on first and second base with two outs and the score 11-10 in favor of the Cunts. However, RP King got Garner to chase a pitcher's pitch early in the count and popped up to end the game. King earned the save and helped propel the Sally Cunts into a 3-way tie in the Gantry League.

D.Murphy (4-5) continues to swing a hot stick as he led the Cunts on offense with 2 HR's, a triple, and 4 RBI's. One of his home runs was an inside-the-parker due to a glitch. The slugger now has 14 HR's on the year and is well on his way of surpassing his total of 15 from last year with the Empire. Murphy has responded well to what many consider to be unfair criticism from Cunt management.

Despite the loss by the Hammocks, they are still in good position of making the playoffs in being only one game back of the third place Alliance and hold the tiebreaker edge, as well as two games behind the Poopydicks with half the season to go.

Sally Cunts 7-4, (5-3)
Banana Hammocks 4-7, (3-5)

[Darky]

Canseco delivers walk-off in extra inning thriller


Phoenix (AP) - In an exciting back and forth high scoring game at the Turd Bowl in sunny Phoenix, the Poopdydicks edged the Awesome Badasses 19-18 in extra innings thanks to great pitching by J.Brngr and a walk-off shot by Canesco in the 10th.

The game appeared headed towards an easy mercy rule victory by the Poopydicks as they jumped out to a 10-1 lead after 2 innings, but the Awesome Badasses clawed their way back and eventually took a 16-13 lead in the top of the 7th inning. The Poopydicks answered and scored 3 runs in the bottom half of the inning to tie it up at 16.

In the 8th, both JoFranco and Bedrsn pitched a scoreless inning in relief. Then in the top of the 9th, Bell hit a RBI double and Ripken added a RBI single off Señor Smoke to give the Badasses a 18-16 lead going into the 9th. However, in typical Badass fashion, Moore came out of the grave to earn a save but gave up 2 runs thanks to a DCincs solo shot and  a RBI double to Boone. The score stood even at 18 going into the 10th.

Señor Smoke pitched a masterful scoreless 10th and with two outs in the bottom of the 10th, Jose Canseco pulverized an inside fastball to end the game with one swing and the crowd at the Turd Bowl went nuts and partook in their ritual of throwing doggy bags of poop on the field.

The Poopydicks maintain their second place position in the Dove RBI League and are two games behind the juggernaut Galactic Empire.


Awesome Badasses 3-8, (0-7)
Poopydicks 6-5, (5-2)

[AlecTrevylan006]

Fuck this team

[Mike D.]

Raines...really needs to step up.

[fknmclane]

Fuck this team

It's almost starting to get comical at this point.  You should embrace the futility like the expansion Mets.

[AlecTrevylan006]

Expansion era mets were at least less depressing than the 2007-2009 Mets.