Fantasy RBI Week 13 - Last Week of the Regular Season

[fightonusc]

THE HIP YOUNG POPES EXCOMMUNICATE
THE FIGHTING TONY DANZAS
FROM THE PLAYOFFS

The Poopydicks back into playoffs thanks to The Hip Young Popes' shocking 18-14 win

The Poopydicks needed a minor miracle to get into the Fantasy RBI playoffs, and The Hip Young Popes delivered, scoring nine times in the last three innings to shock The Fighting Tony Danzas 18-14 on Wednesday night at Tengen Stadium.

The result sent shockwaves throughout the Fantasy RBI world, as The Poopydicks went from the outhouse to the penthouse and suddenly find themselves in the Doverbi Division League Championship Series against The Frank Tanana All-Stars.

"Hey, we'll take it any way we can get it," said Poopdicks manager fknmclane, reached by telephone at team headquarters in Phoenix, AZ. "Even if it takes backdooring our way into the playoffs, that's fine with us. After all, no team knows more about backdooring than The Poopydicks. Wait, are you calling me on a cell phone?!?"

fknmclane then unleashed a stream of profanities before hanging up the phone.

Meanwhile, The Fighting Tony Danzas were left to wonder what might have been.

"That's not possible," said manager defen after the game. "The Hip Young Popes beat us? That's not possible...The Hip Young Popes? Not possible..."

This continued for at least 45 minutes, until team officials escorted defen out of the locker room and into a waiting ambulance for "further evaluation".

The Hip Young Popes (4-8) took the lead for good in the seventh inning on an RBI single by Dwight Evans. But the big blow came in the eighth inning, when Tony Armas crushed a three-run home run to give his team extra cushion. The Fighting Tony Danzas (6-7) were able to score twice in the ninth, but ended the game on a hard bouncer off the bat of Mike Schmidt. Reliever Juan Berenguer initially BOPed the hard shot, but was able to recover and make the throw to first for the final out.

BOX SCORE:

[Shooty]

Fighting Tony Danzas = unclutch

[Gerlost]

It's a miracle!

[RedBarron]

It's a miracle!  A true blue spectacle, a miracle come true!

[fknmclane]

It's a miracle!

I want you so much right now.

BOOYAH!!!!

This has made my day.  Fuck it, it's made my week.  What made my day today was a customer emailing me praises and using the line "your order really tied our event together." 

Poopydicks backdoor their way in and a customer drops a Big Lebowski reference.  To quote a great, great man whose wife is just nuts about me: "BONERTOWN."

[Attezz]

This has made my day.  Fuck it, it's made my week.  What made my day today was a customer emailing me praises and using the line "your order really tied our event together." 

After a single mother shared with me her story of being disabled, her husband dying a year ago, and things being all around really tough, I asked her what it had to do with her mortgage.

My customers hate me.

Today was jerk day.

[RedBarron]

no attez, you did the right thing.

That shit has nothing to do with her mortgage.   

I absolutely love it when my douchebag customers give me the "i have to pay my light bill" bullshit excuse.  That's when I explain to them that if they don't pay me first, they'll never have to worry about a light bill again because I'll own their house.

[fknmclane]

Fuck you both, Attabobble and Ryno.  You don't understand.  My customer droopped a Lebowski reference without knowing it. It's increeedible and awesome. So cuk it.

[RedBarron]

I'll hate you even more when my 7-6 Penis team misses the play offs while your backsliding piece of shit (might have beaten me all year long but i can't remember) team falls into the post season.


Don't sass me or I'll buy your mortgage. . . . . and OWN YOUR HOUSE!!!!

[fightonusc]

THE Parish State University @ The Creamy Pirates game is now complete. Game video is attached. Box score and recap to follow.

[fightonusc]

RECAP:

Darryl Strawberry decided to make sure that The Creamy Pirates' regular season ended with a thud, as the slugger hit two grand slams and drove in nine to lead THE Parish State University to a 13-2, three-inning victory on Friday morning at Tengen Stadium in the regular season finale for both squads.

Despite the loss, The Creamy Pirates (8-5) are the Gantry Division champions, and will play either The OC or The South Arkansas Penis in the LCS. Creamy Pirates manager Richard Manfreddy seemed less than concerned with his team's poor performance.

"So we got blown out, la ti fkn dah," Manfreddy said. "Last time I checked, we're still the Division champs. Maybe if I wouldn't have taken the team out to our favorite bar on Dollar PBR Night last night, we would have done better. Fuck it!"

Manfreddy then proceded to fall asleep at his desk, drooling onto a stack of unread scouting reports.

Mike Scott scattered five hits over three innings to pick up the win for THE Parish State University (5-8).

BOX SCORE:

[fightonusc]

The OC @ The Hip Young Popes game is complete. Game video is attached. Box score and recap to follow.

[fightonusc]

THE OC RALLIES FOR NINTH INNING VICTORY,
EARNS FINAL PLAYOFF SPOT

Hip Young Popes Strand Tying Run on Third, Lose 12-11

The OC scored five runs in the top of the ninth inning, and then held off a furious late rally by The Hip Young Popes to pull out a 12-11 victory and clinched the second Gantry Division playoff berth in a game played Friday night at Tengen Stadium.

The OC (8-4) will play a Best-of-3 series against The Creamy Pirates following a break for the Fourth of July week. The Creamy Pirates won both games the two teams played in the regular season.

Candy Maldanado was the hero for The OC, going 4 for 5 with two home runs and driving in five RBI. This included a three-run home run in the ninth inning with what proved to be the winning runs.

The Hip Young Popes (4-9) refused to fall apart after The OC's ninth-inning comeback. Jim Lindeman hit a two-run home run n the bottom of the ninth, and Juan Berenguer tripled in Tim Teufel with one out to pull The Hip Young Popes to within one run. But Todd Worrell was able to get Bob Boone to ground out to end the game and set off a racous post-game celebration in The OC's locker room.

BOX SCORE:

[fightonusc]

I'm off on vacation. I'll do the last game of the regular season (which is pretty meaningless) when I get back, and then the playoffs start.

[BDawk]

Allright OC...stop clebrating...act like youve been there before

[RedBarron]

fuck

[Baines]

Darryl Strawberry decided to make sure that The Creamy Pirates' regular season ended with a thud, as the slugger hit two grand slams and drove in nine to lead THE Parish State University to a 13-2, three-inning victory on Friday morning at Tengen Stadium in the regular season finale for both squads.

Where the fuck was that all year?  What a bunch of cock goblin fagolas.

[TβG]

yes.... we win.  let's keep all our players off drugs until after the playoffs.  bdawk, if anything goes wrong, i'm going to hold you personally responsible. 

did someone say rally booger?

[BDawk]

did someone say rally booger?

It's a new marketing thing I;m toying with

[TβG]

...i bet you are.