Have Darryl come to your school!

[BeefMaster]

An appearance by Darryl Strawberry is currently going for $260 at MLB Auctions

What is considered the "tri-state area"?  Does that mean we can't send him to Nomaaa's school?

[Big Hath]

I say tri-state is an area where 3 states are fairly close together - so it looks like Alaska and Hawaii are out

[nomaaa]

fuck that. pa is right next to ny, but it's not included.

FUCK YOU DARRYL

[TbT]

offer teh 260 and have miked throw in a line of coke.  he'll show.

[Gerlost]

Kids, drugs is all around you!

[RedBarron]

. . . that, chillrun, wuz tha firs time I suck dick fo' crack. .. . .

[redfanrod]

Daryl teaching lessons? He has a laundry list of problems that should not be released to school children...

Legal and personal problems

    * On January 29, 1987, Strawberry's wife, Lisa, filed for a legal separation from him in a Los Angeles court. She also accused him of breaking her nose after a game the previous October. On May 18, 1989, she filed for divorce in Los Angeles. On October 15, 1993, they divorced. The couple had two children together.

    * On April 7, 1989, Strawberry was sued in Clayton, Missouri by Lisa Clayton (not to be confused with his wife, Lisa Watkins) claiming that he is the father of Clayton's son. On January 24, 1990, blood tests proved that Strawberry was indeed the boy's father.

    * On January 26, 1990, two days after blood tests proved he fathered another woman's child, Strawberry was arrested in Los Angeles for allegedly slapping his wife, Lisa, and threatening her with a handgun. On March 9, attorneys announced that no charges would be filed.

    * On February 3, 1990, shortly after being arrested for hitting and threatening his wife, Strawberry checked into alcohol rehab.

    * On September 4, 1993, Strawberry was arrested for hitting his girlfriend, Charisse Simon, who was three-months pregnant at the time. Reportedly, witnesses said she had been hitting him with a bat near where he had earlier had surgery. She later refused to press charges and, on December 3, they were married. They now have three children.

    * On April 3, 1994, Strawberry was absent from a baseball game and was not found until that night. The next day, the Dodgers announced that he had a substance abuse problem. Four days later, Strawberry began four weeks in the Betty Ford Center.

    * On December 8, 1994, Strawberry and his agent were indicted for failing to report more than $300,000 of income from autograph and memorabilia shows. On April 24, 1995, Strawberry was ordered to repay $350,000 in back taxes and sentenced to six months of home confinement.

    * On February 6, 1995, Strawberry was suspended for 60 days by Major League Baseball after testing positive for cocaine. He was released by the San Francisco Giants on the same day.

    * On December 11, 1995, Strawberry was charged in California with failing to make child support payments. When he missed a June 24, 1996 deadline to pay the child support, a Los Angeles judge set a trial date of July 5, at which time Strawberry agreed to use his signing bonus to pay the debt. [1]

    * On August 20, 1998, Strawberry was sued by attorney Robert Shapiro for unpaid legal fees related to baseball contract negotiations in 1994. The two resolved the dispute on March 25, 1999.

    * On October 1, 1998, Strawberry was diagnosed with colon cancer. Two days later, he had surgery to remove a tumor and 16 inches of his colon. On October 9, doctors announced that cancer had been detected in a lymph node so he would also have to undergo chemotherapy. [2]

    * On April 14, 1999, Strawberry was arrested in Tampa, Florida for soliciting sex from a policewoman posing as a prostitute and for having a small amount of cocaine. On April 24, he was suspended for 120 days by Major League Baseball for the incident. On May 26, he pleaded no contest to the charges and was sentenced to 18 months probation and community service. [3]

    * On January 19, 2000, Strawberry tested positive for cocaine. On February 28, shortly after the test result was announced, Major League Baseball announced that he would be suspended for one year. Two days later, he was in rehab.

    * On July 28, 2000, a C.T. scan suggested that Strawberry's cancer had spread to his lymph nodes. The next month, he had surgery to remove a tumor and a kidney on August 7. [4]

    * On September 11, 2000, in Tampa, Strawberry tried to drive to see his probation officer after taking painkillers. While driving, he blacked out, rear-ended another car, and then tried to drive away. An off-duty police officer witnessed the episode and arrested him at gunpoint. The next day, Strawberry admitted to the charges and his probation was changed to two years of house arrest. On November 21, he was sentenced to a year of probation and community service. [5]

    * On October 25, 2000, Strawberry left a Tampa drug treatment center to use drugs with a female friend violating his house arrest and parole. On November 9, he was sentenced to 30 days in jail with credit for time served. [6]

    * On November 3, 2000, Strawberry told a judge in Tampa that he had lost his will to live and had stopped chemotherapy. On November 14, he was released from jail and sent back to rehab. [7]

    * On April 2, 2001, Strawberry was arrested for again disappearing from his house arrest drug treatment center in Tampa. On May 17, he was sentenced to more time at a drug treatment center. [8]

    * On March 12, 2002, Strawberry was back in jail for violating several non-drug rules at the drug treatment center where he was on probation in Ocala, Florida. On April 29, he was ordered to serve the 18-month suspended prison sentence from 1999. [9]

    * On September 17, 2005, Strawberry reported his sport utility vehicle had been stolen from a Delray Beach, Florida gas station but the station's surveillance video showed Strawberry leaving as a passenger in another vehicle. A tipster then told police that Strawberry had earlier left his SUV behind a sports bar and given her the keys. He was later charged with filing a false police report.

    * On October 7, 2005, Strawberry's second wife, Charisse, filed for divorce in Hillsborough County, Florida court. [10]

Now that's a role model...

[Nacho]

I say we send him to EDF's school.