Official Fantasy RBI Week 11 Thread

[fightonusc]

Poopydicks Eliminate Hip Young Popes from Playoff Contention

DEE-NEE CITY - Andre Dawson homered twice and drove in seven to propel The Poopydicks to a 25-15, seven-inning victory ove The Hip Young Popes in a Doverbi Division Fantasy RBI game played Friday at Tengen Stadium.

The win pushes The Poopydicks (7-4) into a half-game lead over Attarack atop the division standings, while The Hip Young Popes  (4-7) were mathematically eliminated from playoff contention with the loss. However, Hip Young Popes owner Gerlost refused to concede defeat.

"We may have been mathematically eliminated, but that doesn't mean that we don't have a chance," he said after the game while twirling his newly-grown handlebar mustache. "Let's just say that it would be a real shame if the brakes failed on the team buses of, oh, say, every other team in the Division at the same time."

Tom Brookens also homered twice for The Poopydicks, while Rob Wilfong added a homer and five RBI. Jeffrey Leonard homered twice and drove in four in the loss for The Hip Young Popes.

[fightonusc]

The CommieHitlers @ The Nimrods game is complete.

[Darky]

Hahahahahahahaha.  You can't suspend me.   All monetary accounts and team-related decisions need both our signatures. 

Suspend Nomaaa instead, then blow me.

Uhm....no.

I hired you to help The Empire. I rebuilt the team. The Empire is 7-3 and now it seems somebody's ego is getting in the way of the crystal clear reality. I have full control over every aspect in my program. The team was awarded to me by the ruling of Mr. Manfreddy. You have been an asset, but now you are distracting The Empire.

I am taking the liberty to suspend you ryno till week 12. You are to stay away from Empire Headquarters till the week 12 rom is introduced.

In a nutshell, you have two strikes on you. I demand a formal apology if you wish to join us for week 11.

There will be no more warnings. You are on very thin ice and I will not hesitate to fire you.

nomaa is officially fired for not showing up to the park and not doing the laundry properly.

[Darky]

With the Nimrods loss, The Empire is officially in the playoffs and The Nimrods hopes for the playoffs are gone to dust. The Crops get in if GDavis loses the rest and the Crops win their final two.

Cigar in mouth....cock in hand.

[fightonusc]

CommieHitlers Keep Playoff Drive Alive Against The Nimrods

DEE-NEE CITY - John Kruk homered twice and drove in six as The CommieHitlers moved above .500 for the first time in weeks with a decisive 15-8 victory over The Nimrods in a Fantasy RBI game played Monday morning at Tengen Stadium.

The loss dropped The Nimrods (4-7) out of any hope of a playoff berth. Meanwhile, the playoff hopes of The CommieHitlers (6-5) are still very much alive. The win pulls them to within one-half game of a playoff spot behind Attarack (who play later in the week).

Rick Sutcliffe took the loss for The Nimrods, giving up eight earned runs in three innings of work. Sutcliffe, who was seen out partying with Bill Murray until hours before the game, was asked if he was disappointed in being "lit up" during the game.

"Why whould I care if I ama lit dureign the gamne?," Sutcliffe said. "Its not that busy man - i can be lit nd pithc just jas well as whwene i am sober."

[ryno]

With the Nimrods loss, The Empire is officially in the playoffs and The Nimrods hopes for the playoffs are gone to dust. The Crops get in if GDavis loses the rest and the Crops win their final two.

Cigar in mouth....cock in hand.

You don't fuck with a streak, meat. .  . . .I'm not suspended. . . . . . . I still have line up changing authority and I'm not afraid to hit Sandberg cleanup.

[Darky]

The suspension has been lifted off ryno. Sandberg and Murphy were a little down and you are right ryno. An old wise journey man once said "NEVER FUCK WITH A STREAK".

Welcome back meat. You may join the pitchers running poles and demolishing the clubhouse spread.

I am thinking about sitting Murphy in the last game if we win the Gantry Division. We don't need no MVP curse in the playoffs.

May the Force bless The Empire.

[fightonusc]

Attarack @ The Empire is complete. Game video is attached.

[moses]

I hope the empire lost

[Attezz]

Well, that was quick...

How many games left in the season?

[Darky]

ryNNNNNOOOOOOO! Get in my office at once! What the fuck was that all about! Son of a mother fuck. Fuckin motherfuckin bitch cunt cocksucker. Get the fuckin team together in the shower room, they have ten seconds to get in there or everybody is off the team. ryno, hurry up and get them in there and start counting with 1 Mississippi.......and throw the bats.

[ryno]

No problems.  Good to get this shit out of our system before the playoffs.

[Darky]

True, but we need to scare those cocksuckers for being complacent. That shit is unacceptable. Ojeda has lost some velocity off his fastball and his sliders aint sliding worth a shit.
The Empire just threw their hats out there expecting to win without working for it.


Fuck that, line em up at the foul pole line....those fucks are running for hours.

We need momentum going into the playoffs, not horseshit play. One game at a time, one inning at a time, one out at a time, when pitch at a time. The future is now and the Force has slipped away.

Somewhere GDavis is smiling and popping pimples off his back....that fuck.

[GDavis]

Somewhere GDavis is smiling and popping pimples off his back....that fuck.

You know me so well

[fightonusc]

Well, that was quick...

How many games left in the season?

Two games left (13 week season). Top two teams in each Division play a Best of 3 Division Championship Series, with the winners in the Best of 7 World Series.

[fightonusc]

Attarack Trounces The Empire in Two, 10-0

DEE-NEE CITY - Tim Laudner and Kirk Gibson each hit three run home runs to lead Attarack to a stunning 10-0, two-inning victory over The Empire in a game played Thursday night at Tengen Stadium.

Tim Raines added a solo shot as Attarack (7-4) remained in a tie for first place in the Doverbi Division with The Poopydicks. Meanwhile, The Empire (7-4) fell a half-game back of GDavis for the Gantry Division lead.

The Empire's Swedish fan base was very displeased with the team's performance. The poor effort unfortunately coincided with "Free Dala Horse Night," and players from The Empire were pelted with small wooden horses tossed from the stands in disgust after the game.

"If the fans keep this shit up, we won't do the May Pole raising at the end of the season," said Empire manager Dark Side. "Let's see how those tool sheds like it then."

[Darky]

Actually the maypole was erected yesterday.  Swedes wait until Midsummer. One explanation for this is that the leaves and flowers needed to decorate the poles aren't made available until June by Sweden's late-arriving summer.
Yesterday was National Drunk Day in Sweden. Midsummer is the biggest holiday here in Sweden. A celebration of the sun and summer solstice.....fuckin pagans. Common shit on midsummer is Moonshine, drunken brawls, sex on the streets or bushes, and raw fish  buffet which usually includes herrings pickled in various different flavours....no red herring.

Damn were our fans pissed after that embarrassing loss. But we did serve free hembränt at the concession stands.

[ryno]

Now, we're pissed.

[Darky]

Golden Post ryno. Talk about a pow of the year. Best and funniest thing I have seen all week.

[fightonusc]

The Frank Tanana All-Stars at GDavis game is complete. Game video is attached.