Official Columbus Tournament Stories/Thoughts Thread

[malnuboy]

there is way to much info, so I'm going one day at a time.

i'm gonna try this now, its gonna be tough.

Thursday: Drove twelve hours to Columbus, arrived some time around 6 PM. Immediatly was tossed a beer from MikeD and RDub as I walked past there rooms balcony. I was then forced to "cannonball" some vodka(I hate vodka). We then called Baines multiple time and told him to get his ass here. Baines showed up and the madness continued, we hung out on the balcony harassing most people that walked by, this hot 40 year women in a Porshe showed up and was clearly there for a booty call with this loser John, MikeD told her to dump John(right in front of him) and then come party with us, she declined. John and woman come out of hotel 30 minutes later and woman ask for a beer, we give her one and she drives away. Then we ask John to come up for a beer and he does. John is a loser and finally MikeD told him he had to leave.

(later)At some point speed is offered to me and I decline, I have about four more drinks and then determine its a good idea to take some(bad idea).

all events from about 10 PM to 4 AM are going to have to be told from either MikeD, RDub, or Baines cuz I really don't have a clue.

Around 4 AM I snap out of my speed induced haze finding myself sitting down in what appeared to be a bowling alley with strobe lts. I immediatly noticed the rest of the crew nearby, I then look at a girl walking around and all of a sudden she takes her top off, I now realize I'm at a strip club, a bad ghetto one at that. I get yelled at for having my feet up on the stage, then give one chick twenty dollars cuz it was all that I had, then things get hazy again. Around 5 AM we get a cab to go back to the hotel, I pass out on RDUb in the cab.

I wake up at like 7:30 on the floor with my head underneath the nightstand, I immediatly hit my head on said nightstand, then go back to sleep. The next twenty minutes had me reapiting this process multiple times.

Thats about it for Thursday, hopefully the 6 hour gap can be more acurettly filled.

[malnuboy]

also, everything and everybody about this tourney was awesome, even fucking Bandur and Beales came out with us Saturday Nt.

[FakeWumpst]

Yes, I thought about registering as "WumpstForADay" or "ThatWasTheWumpstThatWas" but decided against it...

[JoeDirt]

Remember, this is for posterity, so please, be honest.

We are both men of honor--lies do not become us.

[GDavis]

This weekend was so exciting that I almost shit my pants.

...almost....

[fightonusc]

This weekend was so exciting that I almost shit my pants.

...almost....

Is that why our room smelled so god awful?

[GDavis]

This weekend was so exciting that I almost shit my pants.

...almost....

Is that why our room smelled so god awful?

I blame wumpst.

[GDavis]

I meant to give out mix CDs but I forgot.  If you want one send me a PM with your addy.

[JoeDirt]

I meant to give out mix CDs but I forgot. If you want one send me a PM with your addy.

I'll take one, as long as you're offering.  You still have my address?  If not, it's on the envelop that I sent your check in...

[Baines]

Thats about it for Thursday, hopefully the 6 hour gap can be more acurettly filled.

Well, today has been filled with lots of sleep and water consumption to cancel out 3+ days of abusing my body.  After clearing up a few problems with my internet connection it's time for me to contribute.  Like everybody else, I've got plenty to say but for now I'll just fill Malnu's 6 hour void.  Of course my recollection of the night isn't 100% either so rdub and Mike are welcome to add or change any of this as necessary.

It becomes evident within the first 5 minutes after I show up that I'm in for a good time.  The next few hours of course consist of your standard binge drinking, verbal abuse of hotel guests and/or personnel, and offering beers to the fake Baines.  At some point after going to his car Malnu climbs up the side of the hotel to get back to our balcony.

When the basketball game starts, we decide to head out to the bar to catch it and end up at Brothers after the first of many outrageousely expensive cab rides.  While standing in line, we start talking to a group of girls about how we're in town for a baseball tournament.  Things seem to be going well as the prospects of strange look good for the others and I'm trying to be the best wingman I can be. 

My memory starts to go downhill at this point but more drinking ensues and we all get separated.  I come back after catching the end of the game and the girl that rdub was talking to says to me "Your friends need to get their stories straight."  I guess by this point a drunk Malnu has told them that we're internet friends who just met that day and are in town for a Nintendo tournament.  I try to salvage the situation but it doesn't work despite me telling her multiple times that rdub was one of the greatest guys I know and that I'd put my reputation on the line for him.

The rest of the time at the bar was fun but nothing major really went on.  Highlights included:
- Me puking behind the bushes on the patio after taking a gulp of room temperature Bud Light.
- Mike D threatening to cave a guy's face in.
- Malnu on the dance floor.  Not good with the details but I remember it being entertaining.

So we head out and take another terribly expensive cab ride to a low budget titty bar which is in a strip mall.  Upon arrival we are informed that they've had last call but you can bring your own alcohol in.  Rdub and I take off in a dead sprint across the parking lot to a restaurant only to be told that we're 1 minute too late to buy beer.  Unless I'm missing something, there wasn't anything eventful at the strip club, just your standard experience minus the alcohol.

All in all, nothing major but a good way to kick off the weekend.  I've got plenty more to post about the weekend but for now it's time to catch up on a little more of that sleep.

[GDavis]

Damn sounds like fun.  I wish i hadn't spent the whole weekend printing Lemon Party (NSFW).

..wait, no i don't.

[GDavis]

Oh, on the flight back there was this chick with lips chock full of herpes (seriously, much worse than hooters waitress herpes) sitting next to this dude and they were making out the whole time.  High comedy.

[Flood]

I just puked in my mouth.

Again.

[Gantry]

Great stuff so far gentlemen!  I just woke up from 11 of the greatest non-Dee-Nee hours of my life.  You don't realize how you age until you have to binge multiple days in a row with no sleep.  Then leave Ohio at 5am, again.  Then drive right to a customer.  Then to another customer....

Some additions from Friday night. 

Late-arrivers Lips and GDavis are also meeting us there. (Actually, this part is kind of fuzzy to me – did we go back to the hotel or straight to the bar?)

We did in fact go back to the hotel after the game to meet Lips and GDavis.  One of my last few memories of Friday night was drinking a HotDamn/vodka combo out of TBT's flask in the hotel room.

Friday night at Brothers pretty much did not exist for me.  I'm sure I was there for some amount of time, but I have pretty much no recollection.  I do remember thinking that I was going to walk back to the hotel.  Of course I had no idea where I was (it was downtown somewhere) and we were a good 15 minute cab ride from the comfort.  I must have stumbled around for a half hour before finally flagging down a cab.  After that I'm sure I just passed out...

I did get the following text message from MikeD at 2:41am - "Lips is the shit.  Dub aned I are splitting a whore.  And an 8 ball"

Saturday am was pure death.  I woke up a little too late, but pretty much was up somewhere in the 8:30am region.  Right out of bed to the road to drive to Canton for grandma's funeral.  Lipitz gave me 3 advil and 20 minutes later the hangover was pretty much gone.  If I've been causing myself undue hangovers for all these years I'm going to be pissed.  But a bottle of advil will be purchased on the next trip to the grocery store...

[Gantry]

And to make CurtFlood puke one more time:

It is now 8:03am Chicago time on Tuesday.  I am taking a shower and changing my underpants for the first time since about 4:30am on Friday morning.  I just hope they don't look like the pair TBT was carrying around...

[Big Hath]

It is now 8:03am Chicago time on Tuesday. I am taking a shower and changing my underpants for the first time since about 4:30am on Friday morning.

Oh my . . .

[ultimate7]

OK, I just spent the first 30 minutes at work reading, good work

[Gantry]

Update - still in dirty underpants.  Half the power went out at work so I had to rush in and get all the systems routed to the side with working power.  You might have noticed dee-nee down for a bit, sorry about that...

[T Roogs]

I'm fkn still waiting for miked and rdub to show up here!

[Gantry]

I think mikeD said he had to go to Atlanta on Monday, he still may be there.  He is going to be one worn out man by the time he reaches Boston...