FRBI VI week 13

[Mike D.]

We need Nightwulf to dissect the reasons behind the Cunts being the worst team ever in the history of FRBI.

[Nacho]

We are still one game above .500.  Have faith, my friend.  If Rock continues his mini-hot streak and Murphy continues his mid-season non-suckiness, the Cunts might just surprise some people.

[Mike D.]

The only surprise is how bad our offense is performing.  We get a ton of hits but no runs to show for it.

[Barton]

Because I'm too lazy to see if this has been written about before (and because my involvement on the RBI board really began with joining up with this league), how often do homers go through the wall? That happened with EDavis yesterday, to right field...

That one is common enough that Gantry has a glossary entry for it.  It usually happens on balls hit right down the lines - apparently that part of the wall is a hologram.  Attempting to come up with a technical explanation, my best guess is that since the part of the wall with the foul pole uses a different texture, maybe they screwed up the coding of the wall there.

Thanks. It wasn't directly on the line, but close enough that I'm assuming it's the same as the glossary entry. And it was a fucking ROPE, if that makes a difference.

[Nacho]

The only surprise is how bad our offense is performing.  We get a ton of hits but no runs to show for it.

I wonder if our good contact ratings have hurt us.  I've never seen so many line outs that have resulted in double plays.

[Darky]

The only surprise is how bad our offense is performing.  We get a ton of hits but no runs to show for it.

I wonder if our good contact ratings have hurt us.  I've never seen so many line outs that have resulted in double plays.

Lack of power is killing you guys at the bottom of the lineup. Good contact, but the power is too low to get that lift on balls. You've invested too much faith into speed Nacho.

[Nacho]

The only surprise is how bad our offense is performing.  We get a ton of hits but no runs to show for it.

I wonder if our good contact ratings have hurt us.  I've never seen so many line outs that have resulted in double plays.

Lack of power is killing you guys at the bottom of the lineup. Good contact, but the power is too low to get that lift on balls. You've invested too much faith into speed Nacho.

This isn't nearly as speedy a team as we had last year.

[Darky]

The only surprise is how bad our offense is performing.  We get a ton of hits but no runs to show for it.

I wonder if our good contact ratings have hurt us.  I've never seen so many line outs that have resulted in double plays.

Lack of power is killing you guys at the bottom of the lineup. Good contact, but the power is too low to get that lift on balls. You've invested too much faith into speed Nacho.

This isn't nearly as speedy a team as we had last year.

And nearly as powerful. That team was frickin' awesome last year. Speed, power, the works. I don't understand why the same pitching staff is struggling this year with the Alliance. They were money last year for me. I don't even have a theory for this.

[BeefMaster]

And nearly as powerful. That team was frickin' awesome last year. Speed, power, the works. I don't understand why the same pitching staff is struggling this year with the Alliance. They were money last year for me. I don't even have a theory for this.

This is where I trumpet my "pitching success in Fantasy RBI is 99% luck" theory.

[Darky]

And nearly as powerful. That team was frickin' awesome last year. Speed, power, the works. I don't understand why the same pitching staff is struggling this year with the Alliance. They were money last year for me. I don't even have a theory for this.

This is where I trumpet my "pitching success in Fantasy RBI is 99% luck" theory.

No...

[Gantry]

This game showed that the Poopydicks aren't ready to play with the big boys.  We so often get leads and just lay down like heartless fucks when we lose it.  No heart, the Poopydicks...

[Darky]

This game showed that the Poopydicks aren't ready to play with the big boys.  We so often get leads and just lay down like heartless fucks when we lose it.  No heart, the Poopydicks...

You just ran into a superior organization. What could you slapdicks do really? It takes more than putting on that uniform son.

[ryno]

Seriously, how has my team won 6 games?  Even with good pitching, my offense sucks AIDS afflicted shriveled up donkey balls.

[Darky]

Empire outclass Poopydicks, win 5th straight


Phoenix (AP) - With a chance to pull within a game of the first place Empire, the Poopydicks froze up and failed to keep up with the juggernaut Empire after taking a 8-3 lead after 4 innings.

The Galactic Empire shifted into a higher gear after the 4th inning and outscored the Poopydicks 15-3 to cruise to a 18-11 victory at the Turd Bowl.

With the knowledge that R.Sutclf was on the trading block, Sutclf responded with his best outing of the year. Sutclf pitched 5 masterful innings and earned the win as he only allowed 3 runs, and 8 hits in his five innings of long relief. He also registered 2 K's. 

A huge success for the Empire this year is the year Doran is having. Doran, who was not a starter for the OC last year, is hitting .463 with 11 doubles, 4 triples, 2 HR's, 11 RBI, and 16 Runs in 54 at-bats from the 8 hole. Overlooked in the draft by other teams, the Empire's superior scouting staff saw something in him that other's did not see. "The Force is strong in him" said owner Darkside.

The Empire remain with the best record in the FRBI League and have a commanding hold to first place in the Dove RBI division---a three game cushion and having the tiebreaker edge over the Poopydicks since the Empire are 2-0 against the Poopydicks and have already won the season series. The Poopydicks are now 0-4 lifetime vs the Empire.
The Galactic Empire have now been in first place in the Dove RBI league a record 34/35 weeks dating back to last season.

Co-manager Gantry offered his thoughts to the media; "This game showed that the Poopydicks aren't ready to play with the big boys.  We so often get leads and just lay down like heartless fucks when we lose it.  No heart, the Poopydicks..."

Galactic Empire 10-3, (5-2)
Poopydicks 7-5, (5-3)

[Darky]

Awesome Badasses pull away from the Alliance, cruise to second straight win


Madison (AP) - The Rebel Alliance were unable to keep up with the Badasses offensive pace as the Awesome Badasses won their second straight game by defeating the Alliance 19-16 in a non league game.

C.Ripken and J.Bell each hit a pair of shots and combined for 9 RBI's while R.Jones went 5-6 to help lead the Badasses on offense.

A.Tramml hit 3 HR's for the Alliance and did all he can to keep his team in the game with his 5 RBI's.


Awesome Badasses 5-8, (1-7)
Rebel Alliance 5-8, (4-4)

[Darky]

Banana Hammocks collapse


San Luis Obispo (AP) - No lead is ever safe over the OC. The Banana Hammocks found this out first hand.

With a 19-12 lead going into the bottom of the 8th inning, the OC Legions of Doom scored 5 runs to make it 19-17. The Banana Hammocks managed to score 2 runs thanks to Grich's third HR of the afternoon, but it proved to be not enough.

Down 21-17 and facing closer Dayley, the OC strung some hits together to make it 21-18 after Brookin's one out RBI single. Then with runners on first and third, J.Rice delivered his 4th HR of the game to tie it up at 21. M.McGwir then doubled and Dwning stepped up to the plate with the crowd roaring. Dwning laced a single to left field and McGwir headed towards third base. Left Fielder D.Hndrsn made an errant throw to third base, and McGwir easily advanced to home plate to end the game in an improbable ending.

J.Rice had a huge day at the plate. The slugger hit 4 HR's, tallied 6 hits, and drove in 6 runners. J.Rice now leads the FRBI League in HR's with 19.

B.Grich also had a phenomenal day in a losing effort for the Hammocks. Grich went 6-7 with 3 HR's and 6 RBI's.

After a 1-3 start, the OC Legions of Doom is 7-2 since then with their only losses coming to the Galactic Empire. During that span, they have hit 8 or more home runs in each game and are well on their way to shattering the modern day record for team total home runs.

Banana Hammocks 5-8, (4-5)
OC Legions of Doom 8-5, (4-3)

[Gantry]

Holy fuck what a collapse!

[TβG]

our offense is insane!

[Darky]

our offense is insane!

It is a good offense. Surprised you guys have not scored over 30 runs yet. The way you guys score runs is pretty cool to watch with all the jacks you guys hit.

[Darky]

Pabst Blue Ribbons rally late, hold on for win


Arkansas (AP) - The scrappy Blue Ribbons continue to win tight ball games with good pitching and a scrappy offense that finds ways to manufacture just enough runs as they defeated the first place Fighting Ulrachers 15-14 and remain alive and well for a playoff spot.

The Blue Ribbons recovered from an early 10-2 deficit and scored 4 runs in the bottom of the 8th to go up 15-14 after a pinch hit RBI single by Hrndn. Kerfld took over from there and earned the victory as he pitched out of a jam and tossed a scoreless inning.

With the Pabst Blue Ribbons clinging to a 15-14 lead in the top of the 9th, Kerfld allowed consecutive singles to Guerro and W.Clark and the Ulrachers were threatening with no outs. DaEvans then popped up for the first out, and C.Mldndo stepped up to the plate in a promising situation. However, Candy sharply lined out to 2B Burlsn and P.Guerro was doubled up at second base. And just like that, the threat and the game was over.

The Figthing Ulrachers now drop into a first place tie for first place in the Gantry Division with the OC, and the Pabst Blue Ribbons are now only one game behind the third place Sally Cunts---though the Sally Cunts do hold the tiebreaker after winning the season series 2-1.


Fighting Ulrachers 8-5, (5-3)
Pabst Blue Ribbons 6-7, (4-4)