Fantasy League Week 5 - U7 @ Td

[fightonusc]

Game Summary:

To keep pace with the Fantasy RBI League-leading Stiffs, The Nimrods, needed to get a quality start from Fernando Valenzuela. And that's exactly what they got as they rolled to a 13-3, five-inning rout on Wednesday behind the arm of the crafty screwballer.

"Realmente deseé conseguir este juego encima, así que podría ir como la cena," said the 76-year old Valenzuela, speaking in an interview translated poorly through Babelfish and then translated back into Spanish for no good reason. "Y, mi esposa es un pedazo caliente del asno mexicano, y deseé ir a nuestro hogar cuanto antes a poner mis perros en su bañera."

Tim Laudner continued his recent hot streak by driving in four runs, including a two-run home run as part of a five-run second inning that broke the game open for The Nimrods (4-1). Phil Garner also homered in the second, and drove in three runs.

The Fighting Tony Danzas' (2-3) offense didn't put up much of a fight, managing just nine hits and only four extra-base hits off of Valenzuela. Kirk Gibson hit a solo home run for The Fighting Tony Danzas, while Eric Davis and Keith Hernandez were each 3 for 3.

The Nimrods (4-1)

Batting:

Gaetti: 2-4, HR, 2B, 2 R, 2 RBI
Leonard: 1-4, 2B, R, RBI
Dawson: 2-4, RBI, K
W. Clark: 3-4, HR, 2 R, RBI
Brunansky: 3-4, 2 2B, 2 R
Laudner: 2-3, HR, 2B, 2 R, 4 RBI
Madlock: 3-3, 2 2B, 2 R, RBI
Garner: 2-3, HR, R, 3 RBI
Valenzuela: 0-3, R

Pitching:

Valenzuela (W 1-1): 5 IP, 9 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 1 K

The Fighting Tony Danzas (2-3)

Batting:

Raines: 1-3, 2B, R
Trammell: 0-3
Gibson: 1-3, HR, R, RBI, K
E. Davis: 3-3, R, RBI
Hernandez: 3-3, 2 2B, RBI
Reynolds: 0-3
Santiago: 0-2
Knight: 1-2
Clemens: 0-1
Guerrero: 0-1

Pitching:

Clemens (L 2-2): 4 IP, 9 H, 6 R, 6 ER, 1 K
Morris: 1 IP, 9 H, 7 R, 6 ER

Scoring:

The Fighting Tony Danzas – Bottom of the 1st

Raines doubled. Trammell popped out. Gibson grounded out. Davis singled, Raines scored. Hernandez doubled. Reynolds grounded out.

1 run, 3 hits, 0 errors.

The Nimrods – Top of the 2nd

Brunansky doubled. Laudner hit two-run home run. Madlock singled. Garner hit two-run home run. Valenzuela popped out. Gaetti hit solo home run. Leonard popped out. Dawson struck out.

5 runs, 5 hits, 0 errors.

The Nimrods – Top of the 3rd

Clark hit solo home run. Brunansky singled. Laudner grounded into double play. Madlock doubled. Garner flied out.

1 run, 3 hits, 0 errors.

The Fighting Tony Danzas – Bottom of the 3rd

Raines popped out. Trammell popped out. Gibson hit solo home run. Davis singled. Hernandez doubled, Davis scored. Reynolds grounded out.

2 runs, 3 hits, 0 errors

The Nimrods – Top of the 5th

Dawson grounded out. Clark singled. Brunansky doubled. Laudner doubled, Clark and Brunansky scored. Madlock doubled, Laudner scored. Garner singled, Madlock scored. Valenzula reached on fielding error, second on throwing error, Garner thrown out at plate attempting to score. (With Garner on first, Valenzuela hit slow roller to SS, who BOPed the ball. Garner goes to third, and SS throws over in time to get him, but there is no one covering the bag. Ball rolls to the wall, and Garner tries to score, but 3B picks up ball and throws to C in time for the out.) Gaetti doubled, Valenzuela scored. Leonard doubled, Gaetti scored. Dawson singled, Leonard scored. Clark singled. Brunansky flied out.

7 runs, 9 hits, 2 errors.

[ultimate7]

(With Garner on first, Valenzuela hit slow roller to SS, who BOPed the ball. Garner goes to third, and SS throws over in time to get him, but there is no one covering the bag. Ball rolls to the wall, and Garner tries to score, but 3B picks up ball and throws to C in time for the out.)

Oh the plays that make CPU play so great

[defen]

Trammell sucks again!  So did everyone else, though.  Good game.

[Mike D.]

Fucking Valenzuela and his speaking in tongues.

[defen]

The spanish is fucking hilarious, fighton.  Nice touch.  

[BeefMaster]

I got the following from Babelfish (although I'm proud to say that I translated "perros en su banera" all by myself; thanks, high school Spanish!):

"I really wished to obtain this game above, so it could go as the supper.  And, my wife is a hot piece of the Mexican ass, and I wished to go to our home the sooner to put my dogs in her bathtub."

I assume "obtain this game above" was supposed to be "wrap this game up", then maybe "so I could go home for supper".

[fknmclane]

This is the best recap ever.  I'm having hysterics.