Fantasy RBI Week 1 Thread

[moses]

I would really like to take down the POOPYDICKs can we do it?

[GDavis]

I would really like to take down the POOPYDICKs can we do it?

dick in hand

[moses]

Incorrect answer you are supopse to say Yes We Can!

Coaches are suppose to be motivational.

[fknmclane]

I would really like to take down the POOPYDICKs can we do it?

We're more than happy to trade a victory for you taking us both down.

[moses]

I don't like your tone mister.

[Nacho]

Wow.  Incredible.

[fknmclane]

I don't like your tone mister.

Moses...fine.  GDavis can take down Gantry.

[GDavis]

I don't like your tone mister.

Moses...fine.  GDavis can take down Gantry.

done and done

[Gantry]

POOPYDICKS!
What did I say mclane?  If we get Doyle "Cy Young" Alexander our pitching will rock the Casbah.  Great start for the POOPYDICKS, pizza is on me!

[moses]

Pizza is not the same without cheese and meat. I'm not sure if anyone will eat it.

[Darky]

Darkside's Fantasy Watch


After a quick one-two-three top of the first, The Poopydicks unleashed a furry of doubles and moonshot bombs in the top of the second inning en route to overwhelming AttaRack, 15-0.
Andre Dawson, Chirs Speir, Brian Downing, Rob Wilfong and Ruppert Jones all homered in the top of the second.  The Poopydick's offense amassed 16 hits, 9 doubles, one triple and  5 home runs, all in the top of the second. One RBI advanced scout observed "I have not seen this kind of offensive display in years".
The highlight of the Poopydicks quick work in disposing Attarack, were four back to back home runs. "The Firework crew probably worked the hardest" said Erhajj with a big smile and happily waving his shovel.
Team owner, Racktacular , was not present at the game, and there is speculation coming from within his circle, that his taking a vacation just before the season opener may have affected his team's concentration level and performance. No comments from AttaRack were made available after the game. Racktacular could not be reached to assess the speculation.
A jubilant Poopydicks clubhouse had the look of an after party. Team owner Ganrtry  put his arm around General Manager fcknmclane and was quoted as saying "What did I say mclane?  If we get Doyle "Cy Young" Alexander our pitching will rock the Casbah.  Great start for the POOPYDICKS, pizza is on me!" Fcknmclane smiled back, winked his eye, and stated " Gotta love it, a great start to the season.  This is only a taste of what is to come."

In other news:
BDawk, who attended the game, was quoted as saying " I will enjoy this season if Attarack blows.  The team owned by the two biggest fucking know-it-alls here.  HA!".
The players from the SF Giants(disciples of the Darkside) continue to show that the force is strong in them.
Chris Speir, Kevin Mitchell, and Bob Brenly combined to go for 5-7 with one home run, a triple,three strongly hit doubles, and 7 RBIs.

[fknmclane]

The co-gms have big plans in store for The Poopydicks! home opener but can't seem to get together and hammer out the details.

[fightonusc]

Hey, does anyone want to handle simulating the last game of the week? I'll be busy this weekend with our Friends Thanksgiving, so I probably won't get to it on my own until Monday.

[BDawk]

Hey, does anyone want to handle simulating the last game of the week? I'll be busy this weekend with our Friends Thanksgiving, so I probably won't get to it on my own until Monday.

I don't know if I trust anyone else...Lots of cheaters around here, you know?

[fightonusc]

The Hip Young Popes @ The OC game is complete. Game video is attached, box score and recap to follow.

[fightonusc]

The OC Cruises Past The Hip Young Popes, 16-4

DEE-NEE CITY - In his first start since being released from prison, Doc Gooden scattered four runs over seven innings to lead defending champions The OC to a convincing 16-4 victory over The Hip Young Popes in a Fantasy RBI League game played Tueday afternoon at Tengen Stadium.

"It felt good to be out there with my teammates, and especially my new spiritual counselor BDawk," said Gooden, referring to The OC's general manager and his new "life coach". "BDawk tells me that if I follow his advice, he can help me turn my life around."

Rick Burleson hit for the cycle for The OC, going 4 for 4 with two runs and three RBI. Matt Nokes and Bobby Grich also drove in three to pace a balanced OC offense.

Roger Clemens was roughed up in his first start for The Hip Young Popes, giving up 15 hits and 11 runs over four innings.

[moses]

Longest week ever.

[fightonusc]

Official Press Release from Poopydicks World Headquarters:

First off, we'd like to thank our adoring legion of fans out there.  You keep the team going, you keep the Dicks all kinds of Poopy.  We love you for it.

To show our appreciation, we are hosting an all-day festival/concert/drunkfest/fuckfest at Tengen Stadium for our very first "home" game.

List of special attractions, etc include:
-very special and rare appearance by the rock band "Unexpected Anal."  My co-GM Gantry Zettler and I are very, very excited for this show.  Expect the unexpected bitches.

-a popcorn eating contest between yours truly and my co-GM, Gantry Zettler.  He doesn't know what he's in for.  I've heard the stories but I'm not afraid.  Down goes Zettler! Down goes Zettler!

-my lovely wife, The Saint, will be putting on a clinic for the game Dr. Mario.  She will illustrate her techniques against the one and only nightwulf.  He was chosen for this as his skills are no match for my wife's and it will be far easier to go over strategy and what not while handily beating a lesser player.

-beer garden.  Need I say more?  Actually, yes, I may as well.  We will be serving High Life, High Life Light, PBR and Old Style.  AND NOTHING ELSE!  If you plan on drinking til you can no longer stand and if chatting up transvestites with giant cans becomes your thing after dozens of beers, this is the place for you.

-the jumbotron will be playing short movie clips for the enjoyment of all, including but not limited to: BOOYAH (ditb), the Church of Fudge, the Donkey Punch, Eel-Squirting Asshole and possibly Would it Hurt if I Jammed this Railroad Spike into my Cock?

-the children will be allowed to run the bases at their leisure but parents, please be sure and caution them on the live Bengal tiger roaming short center field (when I say Bengal tiger, I mean the actual 15 foot beast, not a striped tabby that if sold could feed a small village.)

-there will be a designated section for all sexual acts.  We encourage gaping in particular, especially if caused by a vibrator up the butt while the cooter is being mercilessly pounded.

-lest we forget, we will have no less than a dozen 60", top of the line video screens for playing RBI Baseball.

We look forward to seeing all of you at Tengen Stadium next week and thank you for your continued support.

Faithfully yours,

fknmclane and Gantry

POOPYDICKS!!!!

[fightonusc]

Let's not forget the Trivial Pursuit Exhibition Match featuring Gantry, fknmclane and The Commish.

[BDawk]

THis shit's too easy. You pussies need to put up more of a fight.