FRBI VI Week 16

[Darky]

Galactic Empire mercy rule Rebel Alliance, remain undefeated at home


Imperial Center (AP) - J.Leonard extended his streak of consecutive hits to 11, Sutclf pitched a gem, and the Galactic Empire won their 8th straight game at home as they mercy ruled the Rebel Alliance 12-2 in six innings.

Leading the Empire on offense, "Leo" J.Leonard went 4-4 with 2 HR's, two 2B's, and had 5 RBI from the lead-off spot while B.Mdlck also went 4-4 with 3 RBI. Leonard now holds the FRBI record of 11 consecutive hits.
R.Sutclf only allowed 2 ER and 7 hits in 6 innings pitched as he dominated the Alliance hitters.
From start to finish, the Galactic Empire simply outclassed the Alliance and their magic number is 2 wins to clinch the Dove RBI division. The Empire are now 5-0 all-time against the Rebel Alliance.

Despite the loss, the Alliance still remain in a great position to get to the playoffs. They are tied for third place with the Hammocks. The Alliance will host the Empire in week 17.


Rebel Alliance 7-9, (4-5)
Galactic Empire 12-4, (7-2)

[BeefMaster]

OC put up lots of runs considering that the middle of our order could not hit the ball over the fence to save their lives.  It's mildly disappointing when we don't hit three homers each trip through the batting order; three for the whole game is crazy.  For whatever reason, though, the PBR pitchers were keeping the ball on the outside corner all game so we couldn't turn on anything.

[Darky]

Viola's masterful performance one for the ages


Chicago (AP) - On a cold and windy day at Soldier Field, F.Viola was sizzling hot as he delivered perhaps the greatest pitching performance in the history of the FRBI league.

In 8 innings pitched, F.Viola only surrendered 7 hits and one run as he dominated the Fighting Ulrachers lineup with precision like location and changing speeds effectively. The Ulracher hitters looked like they were trying to catch flies with chopsticks at the plate. According to the record books, Viola gave up the least amount of hits in a start that went 7 innings or more. To give up fewer hits than innings pitched is a remarkable feat to accomplish, especially in 8 innings pitched.
Furthermore, Viola retired the side in the 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th inning---which is a new record---retiring the side in 4 consecutive innings.

The Sally Cunts got the majority of their offense in the third and sixth innings by scoring 4 runs in each inning and ended up mercy ruling the Ulrachers 11-1 in the 8th inning.

The Sally Cunts are now tied for second place in the Gantry league with the OC, and are only one game back of the Ulrachers. Interestingly enough, the Sally Cunts and OC will play each other in the next two games. A crucial 2-game stand that many observers will tune in to.


Sally Cunts 9-7, (6-4)
Fighting Ulrachers 10-6, (7-4)

[Mike D.]

Frank Viola bitches.

[Nacho]

Cunts Cunt Opposition

[fknmclane]

Frank Viola bitches.

That's fkn amazing.

[Darky]

Fighting Artichokes mercy ruled, unable to keep up with Badasses


Fort Dodge (AP) - The Fighting Artichokes were booed by the home crowd all day as they were unable to offensively match the Badasses scoring pace. The Badasses went on a 13-4 run in the last three innings of the 7 inning mercy rule game and won 21-7.

R.Knight led the way for the Awesome Badasses. The slugger was a perfect 5-5 at the plate, hit a pair of shots, batted in 5 runners as well as crossing the plate 5 times. C.Ripken also hit a pair of shots to help with the onslaught. The Badasses have shown flashes of explosive offense during the year, but they have not managed to be consistent. When they get good offense, they get bad pitching, and when they get good pitching, they get unproductive offense. Manager AlecTrevylan's look in the dugout during games says it all.

B.Ojeda did not have his best stuff, and was roughed up for 13 runs in three innings pitched. Opting for speed in the draft, the strategy by owner TBT has not worked out the way he imagined. Also, R.Jackson's silent year has not helped. With the loss, the Fighting Artichokes now have the worst record in the FRBI league.


Awesome Badasses 6-10, (1-8)
Fighting Artichokes 5-11, (3-7)

[AlecTrevylan006]

Damn right I look unhappy in the dugout.

[Darky]

Kerfld blows save, OC Legions of Doom win it in the 9th


Arkansas (AP) - In a crucial Gantry league matchup, the OC overcame a 2-run 9th inning deficit and held on to win 23-19 at Razorback Stadium.

Down 17-16 in the bottom of the 8th, the Pabst Blue Ribbons scored 3 runs to take a 19-17 lead. In the 9th, Kerfld came in to preserve the victory, but the OC's resiliency and dangerous offense responded. After a string of hits and with the score tied at 19 with two outs, J.Lindmn hit a two-run blast to put the OC ahead for good. The OC went on to score 2 more runs to take a 23-19 lead going into the last half of the 9th.

T.Worrel,  who gave up 16 runs in his last appearance, recovered well as he pitched a scoreless 9th and picked up the win.

Brooken was the offensive hero of the day for the OC. The husky slugger had 8 RBI's, 6 hits, and a pair of shots from the leadoff spot.
For the Blue Ribbons, HoJo went 4-7, hit two homeruns, and drove in 7 runners.


The OC are now in a second place tie with the Sally Cunts and will host them in the next two games.
The PBR remain in 4th place and are 2 games behind the Cunts and OC for a playoff spot. The Blue Ribbons will play a home and away 2-game series in the next two games with the last place Badasses.


OC Legions of Doom 9-7, (5-4)
Pabst Blue Ribbons 7-9, (5-4)

[Darky]

Poopydicks have easy time with uninspired Banana Hammocks


Phoenix (AP) - The Poopydicks put themselves back into sole possession of second place in the Dove RBI league as they took a crucial league game by breezing by the Banana Hammocks 19-10.

G.Brett hit a pair of shots and ET jumpstarted the Poopydicks with his 4 hits from the leadoff spot. The Poopydicks got multiple hits from everyone in the lineup except for Gagne. M.Krukow pitched 5 strong innings in long relief and helped his team out with 2 hits.

The uninspired Banana Hammocks looked dead at a warm and sunny Turd Bowl in Phoenix. There have been leaks out of the clubhouse that owner Turd has not put in a 100 percent with his team due to his multiple ambitions and projects outside of the Banana Hammocks. A.Dawson lamented  "Turd will show up to practice for 5 minutes, then leave to tackle his other projects, there is no real direction here."

Poopydicks co-owners Gantry and McLane continue to show their disappointment in their team despite being in second place " Poopydicks show some life, but couldn't finish early - which is disturbing.  Nice win over a divsion rival with the same record though" said a stoic Gantry while McLane was more crude and to the point, "I hate their fucking no heart guts as well."


Banana Hammocks 7-9, (4-6)
Poopydicks 8-8, (6-4)

[Darky]

Week 17 will take place today. I'll set up the thread in a while.

[Turd]

How much time do I need to put in? Seems like there isn't much you can do when your team doesn't hit and gives up a boatload of runs...

[Gantry]

Sounds like a coach who is in over his head imo

[BeefMaster]

Poopydicks show some life, but couldn't finish early

I didn't realize Strassy had a team in the league.

[Turd]

Meh, this league is still fun. I like have little obligation other than waching my games.

[Gantry]

It's a great deal of fun, but you lack the managerial excellence of the Poopydicks.  Dont' fret though buddy, it's pretty much an impossible task.

[Darky]

How much time do I need to put in? Seems like there isn't much you can do when your team doesn't hit and gives up a boatload of runs...

It was a joke and the use of some imagination on my part for the recap. But your players have complained to the media about your greater ambitions with the 30 team ROM, the online league, the USFL version of the FRBI, and crossdressing.