HARD KNOCKS— Super Fantasy RBI Pabst Blue Ribbons Edition

[ryno]

We've reached the all star break in the SFRBI season and the Dee-Nee TV network has had all access availability to the surging Pabst Blue Ribbons.   GM Ryno put together a decent enough squad centered around superstar talent like Mickey Mantle, Babe Ruth and Roger Maris.  Much to his surprise Maris was a clubhouse cancer.   An early season trade for Gary Gaetti and Chili Davis was bold— losing such a fucking clubhouse presence like HoJo Johnson was tough.  In the end the boost at third was worth it but the addition of highly respected speed /power outfielder Chili Davis almost tore the team apart.

Little did anyone know that 2 under the radar moves would turn the franchise around and set the ribbons on a course of World Series contenders.  The addition of Steve Bedrosian gave the club the leader it needed.  Bed Rock has an indestructible liver and an edge that set him up as not only the team leader and face of the franchise but made him GM Ryno's  confidante and primary consultant on team transactions. 

Following another stellar pitching performance In week 8 Steve and Ryno were still not convinced the team chemistry was right.  Steve insists on putting scrappy Free agent 795'er Bobby Doerr in the leadoff spot and inserting Yaz in a starting outfield spot in place Of struggling bag of shit chili Davis. 

The He moves were magic in week 9.  Both players had multiple hits and went deep to lead the Ribbons to a mercy rule annihilation of bitter rival Ye Old Stylers.  The performances earned Doerr and Yaz their very own olive green Lucky drake vest.  For his efforts Yaz earned a sweet ass gold chain titty necklace.


Following the game a players only meeting was held.  Bed rock laid down the law, explaining that Ribbons second baseman Ryne Sandberg was not pulling his weight.  The players voted to send Sandberg on an all expense paid fishing and whoring trip.  Will Clark was voted to be the one to take sandberg on the excursion.  Sandberg was reluctant to leave his family but team leader Steve Bedrosian assured the hall of fame second sacker that his wife would be "well taken care off."

 

[fightonusc]

Fan fucking tastic

[Darky]

Fanfuckin'tastic! Love it! Yaz had a big game as well and Doerr continues to overachieve - he had a good year with Fighton's Spiders. These 795 power guys are valuable and dangerous at times.

[ryno]

The hard knocks SFRBI cameras were rolling as Will Clark and Ryne Sandberg went on their team mandated fishing and whoring excursion.  Poles, beers, and one whore were available (PBR operates on a shoestring budget).   The boys (and "girl") left Milwaukee in search of a fishing hole.  As luck would have it they found a resort on Lake Michigan owned by former major leaguer Bobby Bonilla

The boys checked into Bobby's Blunts and Fishing Guide and hit the water.  Things got weird but Sandberg finally started to understand that he needed to loosen up.......


Later that night, after much drinking and smoking, will the thrill got sick and passed out beneath the bed that Sandberg and his lady got their freak on.


Unnamed sources report that Bobby B is looking at investing in the PBR team.  This could mean better facilities, better equipment, and herbal enhancements.   

[Gantry]

This artwork is some next level shit

[ryno]

This artwork is some next level shit

IPad Pro with ipen FTW

[BeefMaster]

WONDERFUL

[Darky]

This artwork is some next level shit

Some new wave shit imo...

[ryno]

Breaking News

Word out of PBR camp is that while Will Clark took Ryne Sandberg on a team mandated fishing and whoring excursion at Bobby Bonilla's Blunts and Fish Guiding Resort two Ribbons ran a train on Sandbergs wife.   Steve Bedrosian and Chili Davis were the alleged perpetrators.   

We asked Sandberg about the goings on and he said "It's a long season.  Women get Woolley.  Or lonely.  Or weary.  Any way.  Once I got back from the team mandated fishing and whoring excursion I knew 2 things had to happen.  One I had to divorce my wife.  And two I had to pledge my undying love to Janet, the whore who went with me and Will to Bobby B's place."

In a small ceremony officiated by Harry Caray Ryne Sandberg was wed to the lovely Janet. 

The team wished them well and wrote words of encouragement on the happy couples giant wedding card. 

GM Ryno and Steve Bedrosian are hoping this will get Sandberg contributing at a higher level. 

The team can taste a deep post season run and can't afford for a Sandberg to continue hitting .250.

[nomaaa]

marrying the token whore is such a Sandberg move

[ryno]

marrying the token whore is such a Sandberg move

He's a nice boy.  Felt obligated. 

[nomaaa]

divorces wife, marries chick he cheated on her with

what a simp

[ryno]

The PBR train keeps on rolling.  This week the charge was led by a steady offense of Gary Gaetti, Babe Ruth, Rich Gedman, Will Clark.   But the real star was the much rested bullpen of Steve M.F. Bedrosian and Fernando Mania.  Once the Ribbons got close the pen shut it down with nando getting the save. 

Special mention to Joyner with 2 hits and Yogi with a clutch pinch homer.

Fernando mania is running wild!!!

[ryno]

Oh boy.......trouble in PBR land.  Can we turn it around?

[Darky]

haha, love it!

[BeefMaster]

Ryno, your comments on the rumors that Mantle's rough 1-4 performance against the Beefy Masters was because he was distracted?

[ryno]

Yes!  A similar story was covered in PBR weekly in week 13 edition.  Page 69.  Janet sandberg was the perp

[ryno]

The hard knocks cameras were rolling when Team Consultant and general bad mother fucker gathered the boys on the side of a mountain for a team meeting.   They shared a new PBR playoff brew and Steve informed them of the new lineup and pitching rotation. 

Lots of ball left to be played.  Let's get this train back on track!

[Darky]

That's a huge beer! Bedrock is pulling out all the stops! Why isn't he in Mantel's face? He is way off his HR pace from the Arcade season and he hasn't been dominating the streets lately!

[ryno]

It would appear Mantle is distracted.  Sndbrg needs to reel in his woman.