Chocolate Strawberry

[fightonusc]

This is Darryl Strawberry's solo rap single, released in 1987. And yes, it's every bit as good as you would hope that it would be.

Here are the lyrics and album art, while you can download the entire MP3 here. Darryl's rap doesn't start until about 2 minutes in, but it's worth it. I'd like to get a critical assessment of this song by some of our musical scholars.

[ultimate7]

Impressive finds, USC.  I'll listen to it when I get home.  I hope someone finds an mp3 of "Get Metsmerized"

[fknmclane]

I don't even have the words.  It's just so impressively bad.  But bad doesn't even do it justice.  I have a feeling the Mets weren't paying him on his days off to do shit like that.

[fightonusc]

"Strike one, strike two, but no strike three!"

Proving that Darryl was hip on the "Three Strikes" rule years before he came into contact with it.

[fknmclane]

The best thing about this song is that I read the lyrics first and knew it was gonna be terribly awful.  But then I listened to it and my expectations were completely blown away.  It's worse than I imagined.

Is "Boogie E" a shout-out to EDavis?

[Nails]

I'd like to get a critical assessment of this song by some of our musical scholars.

More lame than a bag of assholes.  This is a fuck.

[RedBarron]

I'd like to get a critical assessment of this song by some of our musical scholars.

More lame than a bag of assholes.  This is a fuck.

if you were a homosexual, you'd not think a bag of assholes to be lame at all.

[nightwulf]

Absolutely horrible. I'm usually a fan of cheesy songs from the 80's too.

Nightwulf

[Gantry]

This is definitely going on the Media Page, though I still haven't listened to it yet.  Speakerless and too lazy to go upstairs...

[Nails]

It's kind of like a road accident.  Horrible but you have to take a peak...   

I think the trauma is worse.

[TβG]

bad bad bad.  and not in an 80's good way either.

[Grelts]

Speaking of songs like "Get Metsmerized" reminded me of the forerunner of them all.  The immortal 1984 Curtis Gladson & Loren Woods classic "Bless You Boys" referring to the 1984 Tigers (was it a coincidence that the team was chalk full of RBIers?  I think not)

Although I've yet to track down any mp3s, I did find the lyrics:

http://members.tripod.com/~Catch_The_Roar_1984/id5.htm

[Shooty]

A friend of mine came up with the Al Pedrique rap (admittedly not his best work):

Al Pedrique, coming to battle,
6 foot high can't never get rattled.
Crazy range, straight with the bat,
with a Pirate logo on his painter's cap.
RBI all-star, all around genius,
weighs a buck 55 with 9 pound penis.
Hit .294 in his only full season,
.180 the next so that's probably the reason.
Never had power, never got on base,
had a Peruvian smile but a Bolivian face.

[Nails]

that's hilarious

[fightonusc]

"A Peruvian smile but a Bolivian face"? That a superclasico right there...

[TβG]

nice work, man

[Baines]

Al Pedrique, coming to battle,
6 foot high can't never get rattled.
Crazy range, straight with the bat,
with a Pirate logo on his painter's cap.
RBI all-star, all around genius,
weighs a buck 55 with 9 pound penis.
Hit .294 in his only full season,
.180 the next so that's probably the reason.
Never had power, never got on base,
had a Peruvian smile but a Bolivian face.

This is quite possibly the greatest thing I have ever heard.  I may put it on a t shirt.

[Shooty]

A friend of mine came up with the Al Pedrique rap (admittedly not his best work):

Al Pedrique, coming to battle,
6 foot high can't never get rattled.
Crazy range, straight with the bat,
with a Pirate logo on his painter's cap.
RBI all-star, all around genius,
weighs a buck 55 with 9 pound penis.
Hit .294 in his only full season,
.180 the next so that's probably the reason.
Never had power, never got on base,
had a Peruvian smile but a Bolivian face.

Was thinking about this the other day so decided to bump it.

[Turd]

I'm dying over here...hilarious...

[Shooty]

Al Pedrique, coming to battle,
6 foot high can't never get rattled.
Crazy range, straight with the bat,
with a Pirate logo on his painter's cap.
RBI all-star, all around genius,
weighs a buck 55 with 9 pound penis.
Hit .294 in his only full season,
.180 the next so that's probably the reason.
Never had power, never got on base,
had a Peruvian smile but a Bolivian face.

This was the work of our newest member, TheSunshineFund.