Official Fantasy RBI Week 3 Thread

[fightonusc]

Attarack Boxes Around Frank Tanana All-Stars, 15-1

DEE-NEE CITY - Tom Herr and Tim Teufel each homered twice to lift Attarack (2-1) to a 15-1, four-inning mercy rule victory over The Frank Tanana All-Stars (0-3) in a Fantasy RBI League game played Monday evening at Tengen Stadium.

"Rock (Tim Raines) gave Tommy and I some stuff before the game that he said would help us 'have some more get up and go' when we were up," Teufel said. "I don't know what exactly that powder was, but man, I feel like I could body slam Gettysburg right now."

John Morris continued his hot hitting for Attarack, going 3 for 4 with four RBI, while Nolan Ryan limited The Frank Tanana All-Stars to just six hits over four innings.

"I want people to know that we're playing this game under protest - after all, the game was played on Boxing Day Eve," said Frank Tanana All-Stars owner Shooty Babbit. "How are my guys supposed to concentrate when they are away from their families, missing doing traditional Boxing Day Eve traditions like, umm, the wrapping of boxes, and the other stuff."

[Shooty]

After being early season favorites, the Frank Tanana All Stars are the worst team in the league.  0-3 record and losing the last 2 games by a combined 29-1 score.  Boo-urns.

[fightonusc]

So far this season Bret Saberhagen is 0-3 with a 28.64 ERA and a 4.09 WHIP. Not good at all.

[Shooty]

So far this season Bret Saberhagen is 0-3 with a 28.64 ERA and a 4.09 WHIP. Not good at all.

When can I change my line up?  I want to move Saberhagen into the closers role.

[fightonusc]

Seriously, if you want to, I can do that for next week.

[fightonusc]

The Hip Young Popes @ The Nimrods game is complete. Game video is attached, box score and recap to follow.

[fightonusc]

Hip Young Popes Puts The Nimrods Through the Torture Rack, Win 20-9

DEE-NEE CITY - Roger Clemens "scattered" 14 hits over seven innings to lead The Hip Young Popes to a 20-9, seven-inning mercy rule victory over The Nimrods in a Fantasy RBI League game played today at Tengen Stadium.

After the game, Clemens dodged questions about his status for next season, or even the next game.

"I'm a devoted family person, and nothing means more to me than my family," said Clemens, who operates on a unique game-by-game contract. "I'm really missing the time I have with my wife and kids, whatever their names are, and it will be very tempting for me to go home and hang up my cleats. It's hard to put a price on being with your family, although right now I would say about a million dollars a game is about right."

The Hip Young Popes (2-1) pounded out 30 hits against The Nimrods (1-2). Bill Madlock and Ray Knight each homered and drove in four, while Clemens and Marc Sullivan each scored four times.

[ultimate7]

I don't think I've ever seen a first basemen run away from so many ground balls, I think Roger Clemens paid off Kent Hrbek.

[Darky]

Was that divine intervention on that inside the parker that Ray Knight hit? Funny to see an inside the parker with the ball stuck on the fence. Clemens had one hellava day.

[Gerlost]

STINKY SULLIVAN!

[fightonusc]

The Coprophiliacs @ The Poopydicks game is complete. Game video is attached, box score and recap to follow.

[moses]

Once again I have no idea why it is not wanting to work. The file will not unzip. Any ideas what i am doing wrong.

[ultimate7]

Assuming you can view the zip file as a folder

Open folder and you will see actual file.

Right click on file in the folder and CUT

move out of zip folder and paste file somewhere else

[Darky]

Tyson does it again.

[fknmclane]

POOPYDICKS!

[Reds]

Thats the most depressing thing I've seen all day...

[fightonusc]

Poopydicks Continue Torrid Pace, Throttle Coprophiliacs 10-0 in One Inning

DEE-NEE CITY - The Poopydicks continued their early-season domination of the Fantasy RBI League on Thursday afternoon, blowing out The Coprophiliacs 10-0 in a one-inning mercy rule game at Tengen Stadium. The match-up was a highly-anticipated encounter between the leagues two most fecally-obsessed teams, but in the end the power of The Poopydicks proved to be too much for the Coprophiliacs to stomach.

"The shit is really going to hit the fan after this game," said Coprophiliacs GM TBT. "No, I mean seriously, that's what is going to happen. That's how I like to unwind after a tough day - throw some shit at a large fan, preferably with a stripper or other soulless female there to have it splatter on."

Moses was not available for comment.

Chris Speier and Kevin Mitchell each homered for The Poopydicks (3-0), who pounded Coprophiliacs (1-2) starter Bert Blyleven for 10 hits. The Poopydicks have not had a game last longer than three innings this season, and have given up a total of one run in six total innings of baseball.

[fknmclane]

The Poopydicks performance thus far this year is just a real nice surprise.  Just a real nice surprise.

POOPYDICKS!!!!

[Mr. Blubbo]

AttaRack is 2-1 on the season and are now in mid-season form.  Tueffel and Herr are giving the bottom of AttaRack's lineup a most solid 1-2 punch.  Shit, last game even Nolan Ryan went 3-3.  Ripkin, Laudner and GDavis need to start hitting or their place in the lineup will be filled with Tueffel/Herr.  John "Blank" Morris continues to shine out of the #2 spot.  AttaRack will keep the same lineup and looks forward to their next opponent.

[Darky]

Ripken's hope always exceeds his hype. He will never get it going Rack. In fact, my advance scouts tell me that his is killin your lineup.